Accounting Troll Posted April 5, 2006 Report Share Posted April 5, 2006 Can I join? You'll need an experienced treasurer to handle all the tithes you'll be collecting from the faithful. Most religions state that posessing money is a bar to true happiness and the priests offer to take this spiritual burden from the faithful. I'll even brand Krabjuce for you. In fact, I'll do that anyway even if you turn down my generous offer to lift this spiritual burden off everybody else. Didn't Jesus sacrifice himself so that man would be forgiven of his sins? Okay, technically he didn't as he was resurrected, but the thought was there. *Heats up impressive collection of branding irons* Incidentally, you guys do realise that the krab smilie looks like the aliens in Space Invaders. BB has inspired us to renewed resistance to this onslaught! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 My son, I inaugurate you into the fold of the Tamists. You shall carry the burden of Vicar of Taxes and Shiny Objects and also you shall be known as the Holy Money Launderer. You will have to wear the robes of office though. *produces costume that seems to have a lot of straps, leather and chains.* And here is your sceptre of office. *gives AT a golden 'T' which looks like a cross with the top bit sawn off* Go forth and spread the word of Tammy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 This costume seriously chafes. Can I make a couple of minor adjustments? Also, can I have an executioner's hood? Hmm. If I sharpen up the ends of my holy T, it'll make a great axe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 Yeah the hood's fine but let's call it a "Purging Hood". Now then - to recruit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetoris Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 "..and as I walk through the valley of tammy and friendsI shall fear no spamming" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 Fear not brave followers of Tamism, the appearance of the Outsider once more was foretold. There's is nothing to be affraid of. Join me at our church (there will be a small entrance fee) and we will ask for guidance. https://www.secretgarden.plus.com/holyman.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 Nice smilie. Your devotion to Tammy does you credit. But why should the entrance fee be small? Fear not, Praetoris for we have the death penalty for spammers. They are forced to share Mick Jagger's bed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorondor Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 A new cult; how flattering... You should be pleased, then, to hear I shall arrange for you to be brought before her Royal Tammyness without delay, my good prelate. The overwhelming sweetness of her gaze will soon shine upon you, instilling once again that measure of piety and modesty only Her presence can impart. I dare anticipate you will devoutely part with all worldly possessions in favour of the sacred, Royal Person. :: *smirks*A true convert if ever did I see one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dumb_Commander Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 I'd rather defend Tamriel than join a curch of Tamism, why create a cult that worships Tammy when Tammy is in this country but not in the outer reaches of heaven or space. *Takes out the STC remote* Now a little adjuistment. *Stops himself from retreing* What the hell, nothin changed, exept that i didnt retire. Even the Krab invasion didnt changed. Well okay time to do my job. Move troops. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 Heretic As Tammy is our supreme and divine ruler, Tamism should be made our state religion. That way we can set up religious schools to indoctrinate, sorry educate our citizens Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dumb_Commander Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 GRRR, hey i cant worship Tammy all the time, i have to protect her country to. ---~---~---~---Mood: Angry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 To worship her is to protect her. It makes you part of Tamriel, it makes you part on the land and so the land protects us - well we may need a few weapons too. Sorry AT, did I say small? Remind me to make you a bishop, we need to abolish the word small when it pertains to money. Ahh, Thorendor - in the cult of Tamism we have no worldly possessions. We give them all up to the Keeper of the Cults Treasury. *quickly scribbles out a holy writ to make AT Keeper of the Cults Treasury* And as the keeper is our taxman then Tamriel is made wealthy by our benevolence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kernel Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 Hmm... time to kill this new religion before it gets out of hand... just like we did with the pie cult. * Picks up AT's paperweight used to hold down his huge pile of tax papers ** Bludgeons uriaheep's head into his altar with the paperweight * Now then, who's the next one to come up with a crazy cult idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 The Pie Cult attemted to replace Tammy with a pie, and were therefore in opposition to all that is good and holy. We Tamists are devoted to the worship of the divine aspects of Tammy, and are therefore not to be classed with the pie cultists. I might also add that in addition to my many other heavy duties, I am also the Grand Inquisitor. Attacking the highest member of our clergy with my paperweight is heresy against the state religion and treason against the person of Tammy. *Drags Kernel off for some intensive interrogation* Recant your unholy deviancy and you will be mercifully burned at the stake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kernel Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 But your not worshiping Tammy. Your worshiping that statue. * Points to statue still standing on the altar * It doesn't even look like Tammy!!! It looks more like... KRABJUICE!!It's been a plot by him to replace Tammy all along!!! Time to propose a new law! Thou shalt worship only the real Tammy. The worshiping of statues or other false idols will be banned and anyone who is caught doing so will have to suffer eternal damnation and listen to a tape of AT's poems on an eternal loop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krabjuice Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 Kernel, too late: I already own three quarters of your brain. Comply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dumb_Commander Posted April 6, 2006 Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 Krabjuice, dont make me give the STC remote to Queen Tammy, release all captured quarters of Kernel's brain and dont try to put somekind of a parasite in his brain or his organism. Remmeber Krabjuice, with each post i become much stronger and able to control the STC remote. Queen Tammy allready reached here peak of power to control the remote completly, do not anger her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 I have to say, you guys are extremely creative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krabjuice Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Or hideously delusional. Speaking of which, I no longer control quarters of Kernel's brain. I own eighths. Many of them. Like, say, 7 of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uriaheep Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Wow!!! *shakes head and rubs several large bumps* Did anyone get the number of that wagon? Mmm er ...... who am I? And who's is this paperwieght? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dumb_Commander Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Release Kernels brain imediately and dont try to to get someone else's brain. I know a special drug, named Herxes, it is usualy used to raise the imunity system of the organism.Affter some years of studyieng and replicating Herxes i've made an similar drug, only the efect is much more powerfull I named it Hexces-B, it even boost's the imunity to brain control, so if you dont release Kernel's brain, i will inject Herxes-B into Kernels bloodstream, and in the matter of minutes his imunity system will be boosted and you will not be able to control him ever again. *Prepares the syringe, with yelow liquid inside* Dont worry Kernel Herxces and Herxces-B are not adictive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorondor Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 "And who's is this paperwieght?" Precisely... Hefty charges must, therefore, be laid to match: hit and run incident, slandering of the Commander-in-Chief of the Imperial Guard and attempted bodily harm outside the confines of the sanctioned area. *sniff, sniff* I might also be tempted to tack on "drunken and disorderly conduct". :: I feel a heavy fine heading the way of the owner of that bludgeoning object... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accounting Troll Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Drunk yes, but disorderly no And if you gentlemen (?) would care to examine the DNA evidence, you will note that Kernel has used the paperweight recently. Also, if you note the angle of the blow, you can see that it was clearly committed by somebody shorter than a troll. Besides, anybody I bash in stays bashed in And there wouldn't be any point in trying to fine me even if I was guilty. I control the state treasury, and any fine would be paid directly into... the state treasury It was clearly Kernel who carried out the attack, however Krabjuice has admitted that he is controlling Kernel's mind and is therefore culpable for any action Kernel commits while under the influence. Clearly Krabjuice is attempting to discredit me so that he can get one of his minions in charge of the treasury. Presumably he has already tried to mind control me, but his technique doesn't work on trolls because everybody knows how thick skulled we are. Thorondor, are you sure you haven't been subject to mind control? I've got pictures of you worshipping the Krabs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krabjuice Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Please, don't think that I am controlling Kernel's brain. I simply own it. See, here's the deed. I bought the entire thing off of E-Bay. Now, comply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kernel Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Please, don't think that I am controlling Kernel's brain. I simply own it. See, here's the deed. I bought the entire thing off of E-Bay. Now, comply. You got my what from the where now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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