Krabjuice

Merry Chirstmas Tamriel, remember to open the gifts from me last.

People, people. We've had our time alone in our room and have thought about that we did. We're sorry and won't do it again.

To be honest, Matri, you ate far more of my brethren then my brethren ate of you.

What? I wasn't all that bad.

My infamy lives on.

Likely.

What, do we miss me already?

Tarred and feathered?

I hardly see how this is worse then submitting me to relentless torture. Ah--nevermind.

Fortunately, that pain was all in the past. I'm immune now and so are my troops. We've become a tough, hardy race capable of shrugging off all intense induced pain. Ah, what majesty is thinking ahead? When you know that your opponents foolishly mess with the vestiges of time, its quite easy to move to counter him. For you see, those massive waves of water are also massive waves of time. The past is no longer relevent. Only the future remains, only the Krabish future is there. When I cracked open those dams, I did it with such force and energy that it also cracked open the barriers of our dimensions. As the wave crashes down, drowning your poor helpless citizens, it also hyper-ages your landscape. Forlorn are your cities, for they are now rotten hunks of time. They have eroded in inevitability, for time decrees that we hath won. Arise my brothers! Come out from your oceans of time. What will defiantly be, you are now. For this army no longer spans from this time alone, but of all time. Come forth loyal servants, for our survival today has made untold billions tomorrow. Our day is now, and has been forever!

Ah, but Troll, you fail to realize that when my mighty armies marched across your land, they released a previously unheard of bacteria into the air. This bacteria, you see, eats dirt, sand, and all that rock-ish stuff. So, without knowing, the entirity of Tamrial is now somewhat shaped like a bowl. As a result, all your streams and rivers have changed currents. Also, I've made the arrangements to have my Krablin Sappers detonate every bridge in the land. This ensures that your citizens cannot escape the flood, as well, after my Sappers raided your hole, that there was plenty of Scotch for my troops. To keep you occupied, we simply replaced your bottles with urine and antifreeze.

Landlocked, yes. But, what you fail to realize is that I recently broke open several 40 foot dams over the weekend. The resulting tidal wave, including all of your ill-placed citizens, should arrive at this location shortly.

Its alright. I've got destroyers too.

Wheres my frigate support? Damnit, get here faster.

Yea, I finished off my programming ISU a few minutes ago. Its a cross between a Cave shooter and that surgeon game where you can't touch the walls. Details aside, its running off the Homeworld Cataclysm sound track, and even borrows the ion-cannon sound. Oh, and I was too engrossed in my ISU to game. Thus, I will begin my quest to reclaim my homeworld tommorow, in class with some multi-player unit testing.