Krabjuice

Merry Chirstmas Tamriel, remember to open the gifts from me last.

People, people. We've had our time alone in our room and have thought about that we did. We're sorry and won't do it again.

To be honest, Matri, you ate far more of my brethren then my brethren ate of you.

What? I wasn't all that bad.

My infamy lives on.

Likely.

What, do we miss me already?

Tarred and feathered?

I hardly see how this is worse then submitting me to relentless torture. Ah--nevermind.

Fortunately, that pain was all in the past. I'm immune now and so are my troops. We've become a tough, hardy race capable of shrugging off all intense induced pain. Ah, what majesty is thinking ahead? When you know that your opponents foolishly mess with the vestiges of time, its quite easy to move to counter him. For you see, those massive waves of water are also massive waves of time. The past is no longer relevent. Only the future remains, only the Krabish future is there. When I cracked open those dams, I did it with such force and energy that it also cracked open the barriers of our dimensions. As the wave crashes down, drowning your poor helpless citizens, it also hyper-ages your landscape. Forlorn are your cities, for they are now rotten hunks of time. They have eroded in inevitability, for time decrees that we hath won. Arise my brothers! Come out from your oceans of time. What will defiantly be, you are now. For this army no longer spans from this time alone, but of all time. Come forth loyal servants, for our survival today has made untold billions tomorrow. Our day is now, and has been forever!

Ah, but Troll, you fail to realize that when my mighty armies marched across your land, they released a previously unheard of bacteria into the air. This bacteria, you see, eats dirt, sand, and all that rock-ish stuff. So, without knowing, the entirity of Tamrial is now somewhat shaped like a bowl. As a result, all your streams and rivers have changed currents. Also, I've made the arrangements to have my Krablin Sappers detonate every bridge in the land. This ensures that your citizens cannot escape the flood, as well, after my Sappers raided your hole, that there was plenty of Scotch for my troops. To keep you occupied, we simply replaced your bottles with urine and antifreeze.

Landlocked, yes. But, what you fail to realize is that I recently broke open several 40 foot dams over the weekend. The resulting tidal wave, including all of your ill-placed citizens, should arrive at this location shortly.

Its alright. I've got destroyers too.

Wheres my frigate support? Damnit, get here faster.

Yea, I finished off my programming ISU a few minutes ago. Its a cross between a Cave shooter and that surgeon game where you can't touch the walls. Details aside, its running off the Homeworld Cataclysm sound track, and even borrows the ion-cannon sound. Oh, and I was too engrossed in my ISU to game. Thus, I will begin my quest to reclaim my homeworld tommorow, in class with some multi-player unit testing.

After Troika went under, where did its dev's go? I mean, those were the last surviving members of interplay and Black Isle. From what they did with Bloodlines and Arcanum (in the roleplaying sense), I would've been happy to have them develop Fallout 3.

Like.. how?

Wait, thats why Pete wanted those high-res pictures of the earth >_>

Norris; as in Chuck, who can easily smear Bill Gates against the floor.

-_- I am in flavour country.

Great, even the troll gets a hug. What do I need to pillage to get some hugs around here?

What? No love for me? I am, afterall, your greatest fan/enemy.

Today, I was a bit trigger happy with the siege cannon. Yes, I admit it. I fired the blast towards an oncomming beast heavy cruiser, only to have the shot impact a nearby beast corvette which happened to be very very unlucky. Regardless, the blast raped my commandship of each and every one of its many modules, as well as those on my carriers. I decided to quit for the day, it was the last mission anyways. I did it again, except that it was my command ship that fired the shot and hit itself. It decided to turn after it fired... turn into the shot.

After a rather painful injection of Silent Storm, I began to yearn for something classic. This is not to say that Silent Storm wasn't fun--which it was--but it also hurt. A lot. And I like that kind of hurt. So, I decided to dust off a few relics from my shelf and behold, the Homeworld series. I began to reminisce, remembering my failure to complete the original Homeworld and it's spectacular sequel. Cataclysm, however, I did finish--often. So, it was finally decided that I would revisit my favourite strategy series. So far, the tour: Cataclysm - On normal. Once through. Get back into the groove. Completed (100%) From previous takes at Homeworld 2, I've come to a conclusion that capital ships may be the way to go. It seems to be working. So far, I've amassed 5 Somtaww Destroyers and 1 Taidanii Destroyer. Thats six in total, plus a dozen other frigates. I'll consider retiring a few destroyers or frigates when the 'naughts are available. That was a great combination. Even though the 9 HC's and Naggarok, I really only lost 2-3 multibeam frigates. Speaking of which, I was rushed by 9 HC's during the final mission. Man, that freaked me out. Homeworld - Completed (100%) I'm about to start, but I'll wait for tommorow. I'll begin the run at school. I remember that Homeworld was very salvage happy. Namely, it doesn't have leeches like Cataclysm, so infinate money is hard to come by. We'll see what happens. I just finished the fifth mission. To date, i've only lost a probe and two salvettes. What I gained was well worth it. I now have 8 captured ion array frigates, 3 captured ion frigates, 11 captured assault frigates, 1 captured support frigate, 4 other support frigates, 2 destroyers, 2 harvesters, and one carrier. I'm also racking in 9k resources. Diamond Shoals is going to be fun, however, as I refuse to sell my frigates or build bombers. Also, I've learned how effective strike craft can be. Unlike cataclysm, strike craft can be depended on to harass enemy capital ships while taking minimal losses. Those scouts, man, are fast. I just entered the Garden of Kadesh. Money time. Well, its been a while. Lets see: I captured 4 heavy cruisers, 14 destroyers, 20 support frigates, 4 carriers, 50-ish swarmers, over 115 ion frigates. Yea, I win. Homeworld 2 - Completed (0%) Oof, I'm dreading this. I've taken a few minutes to reflect on some crucial strategies of the game. Namely, those involving strike craft. Lets see, strike craft in HW2 are signficantly better then their HW1 counterparts. No, they are not better armoured or armed, but they exist as a group. This means that when a single group is repaired, any and all craft within are replaced and repaired without any cost. Score. No more single ship replacement. Also, I believe that it would be wise to enlist pulsar gunships en masse. They're beautifully balenced between anti figther and anti capital roles. From what I remember from previous games, the capture-happy tactic doesn't really mesh well. The marine frigates are too slow, too stationary to be any real use. Only against single targets are they useful. At least they don't need to be hauled to a carrier, yet, they still take a while to complete a capture. Now, considering the cost and use of the marine frigate, it would be far more useful if it could--say--release drop pods onto an enemy ship. Extend that to releasing drop pods on multiple ships. Thus, now we'd have an actually useful ship on our hands. Of course, no ship can be too powerful. Thus, each of these drop pods can either be targeted (as the marine frigate can) when latched to a ship, or the pods would need to be manually replaced.. for a cost. Hell, maybe the defenders can win sometimes.

Why am I always the one to suffer? All I wanted to do was burn your towns, rape your wives, and pillage your queen's underwear drawers. I don't deserve this!