DragonHawk Posted August 20, 2009 Report Share Posted August 20, 2009 Don't tell me you're going to hire another MERC. Can't you pick someone more manly than blubbery? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted August 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2009 After almost a week of repairing and selling guns and other kit to Paedo Tony, things are getting desperate, and M-Team are getting bored. A quick day trip to Estoni is arranged, and as Bull puts on a necklace of ears for something to nibble along the way, Grizzly spots Barry slipping something surreptitiously into his pack. "What the Hell's that?" Barry attempts to look innocent. He is not successful. "Er, good luck charm." "Looks like a land mine." Barry shrugs. "Lucky land mine."https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/luckylandmine.jpg Estoni, an Ira's stone's throw away from Cambria, is a lovely little outing for the family that loves tetanus.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/estoni.jpg The junkyard is run by Jake Cameron, who sells some of the more presentable crap:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/jakec.jpg And his son, Maddog.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/maddog.jpgYes, all one word. Truly mad. Also pottering around is the refreshingly (disgustingly?) honest Skipper:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/skipper.jpg Jake mentions a gentleman we have yet to meet:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/jmbreeham.jpgNo, we wouldn't know nothing about no Breeham Druz. Wait, what? While sifting through the shite scattered around, M-Team find something good:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/spring.jpg While amounting to nothing on its own, when combined with a curtain rod we found earlier, the simple spring becomes:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/rodspring.jpgRod & Spring! Despite sounding like an 80s pop duo, Rod & Spring do not produce a forgettable album only resurrected every ten years by over-optimistic morning radio DJs, they actually reduce the amount of APs needed to burst fire a weapon. So Bull, who threw his MAC-10 away upon stealing the superior FAMAS, allows Barry to modify his weapon with the rod & spring:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/FAMAS.jpgWhat's that you say? A five-round burst for 7 APs? All it needs now is a laser scope, and it will be complete, a weapon of pure killology. Now, to Chitzena!https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/chier.jpg Well, almost. En route, M-Team bumped into some enemies:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/5enstart.jpg Bull dropped two in one turn, bursts from his FAMAS making them dance better than Patrick Swayze. Grizzly's 7.62mm hollow points ripped apart another. "A man's got ta know his limitations!" Danny roared, taking cover behind a tree. "And mine is wielding twin MAC-10s!" His bullets, one hollow point, one armour piercing, raced through a lung each and the unfortunate enemy keeled over. Barry gave an enemy one in the leg, flattening him, and Malice finished him off.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/5droppd.jpgAfter the initial surprise, the rest of them were easy to clean up. 3 to 1 odds is nothing to manliness. M-Team, picking over the dead, find something useful:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/mustgas.jpg"Blistez ze lungs." Malice murmured, reading the label. "Like Bull farts." Barry said sourly. "Except not odourless." Grizzly grinned. "Or tastless." Danny contributed. They shared a high five. Bull looked up from his meal of brains, frowning. Everyone got wounded, so it's time to retreat to San Mona and heal up before conquering Chitzena. Idiot-Team gain a new member:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/gumpyhere.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted August 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2009 OPERATION BURSTSPLEEN - Phase 1. Chitzena is a small backwater, and easy enough to take over. The first sector holds the mine, a few buildings...https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/chit1mine.jpg And some lazy, lazy, guards. Here's one lying down on the job:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/nomerci.jpgNot really, Danny shot him in the knees and Malice finished him off. Being a little rural, the guards are few, and lightly armed. The second sector holds a few buildings and some ruins:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/chit2.jpg Danny's pairs, Malice's headshots and Bull's bursts do most of the work, ensuring the whole town is taken with realtively light wounds to M-Team. Exploring afterwards, they bump into a monk, possibly bulletproof:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/2l8.jpgM-Team have enough shame to hide their weapons behind their backs. A certain cup comes up in conversation, even though Yanni's apparently talking in his sleep.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/chalicechity1.jpgChalice of Chance, eh? Any 'chance' I can stop hearing about it?https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/chalicechit2y.jpgHmm, let me see...greatness and Arulcan unity, or $20k. Tough one. But even as M-Team settled down amidst the ruins, and Bull settled down among the ruined bodies, it was obvious that Chitzena, even at full blast, would never be able to fund M-Team. With contracts getting short, I need even more money than usual. Bull snacked on, literally, a handful of fingers, as Grizzly explained their financial worries. "A man's got ta charge what a man's got ta charge." Danny shrugged, throwing shapes with his MAC-10s still in his hands. Barry, frightened of a future without the money to buy explosives, began to sniffle, and cuddled his lucky land mine close. "Zo what do we do?" Malice asked, peering into a compact and combing his eyebrows. "Man cannot leeve on last zeeson's fashions alone, n'est-ce pas?" Grizzly set aside his laboured sums, and took up his FN FAL. "We have to rob Kingpin."https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/timetorob.jpg"Fatcula!" Bull laughed, attempting to bare his canines and puff his cheeks out simultaneously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted August 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2009 A few days later in San Mona, S-Team are corralled away from M-Team in case shitness is catching. Bored, they go shopping, hunting for bargains in the seedy sector. Biff and Flo shop for his 'n hers underwear, while Gumpy trails around behind Ira like a little lost dog. A dog with a speech impediment. Ignoring Gumpy's cries of "Fantathtic!" over everything shiny, Ira browsed, and received an interesting offer from the proprietor:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/ktlvfa.jpg"Look good and not get shot?" The $950 struck Angel in the forehead and Ira snatched the jacket. Inspired by capitalism, Angel confides in Ira.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/ammf2waap.jpg"Forced to work in prostituthion?" Gumpy's eyes widened. "Thath like me that time!"https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/robkpsmine.jpg Rescuing Maria is no problem. M-Team are already in sector, the layout of the Shady Lady whorehouse is already well known to them, and Barry easily disabled the alarm and picked the lock on the back door:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/escmaria.jpg Barry escorted her out of the sector, one arm around her waist. "Pretend to be prostitute." He advised. "But I am a prostitute." Maria reminded him. Barry patted his lucky land mine in gratitude, and led her away. "Perhaps, if we have time, on way there we can make the sex...?" While they were occupied, I noticed Maria is stronger than Biff:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/mariasstats.jpgBrilliant. Angel is overjoyed to see Maria, and rewarded Barry appropriately.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/lsd.jpg"Deed?" Barry scowled. "Leather shop? Where is Semtex? TNT? RDX? Nitroglycerine? Pah! Where is real reward, Angel? Filthy currency?"https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/kpshiddn.jpgEyebrows raised in the Hungarian fashion, Barry watched Angel and Maria escape into the wild before hurrying back to the rest of M-Team. His report and the deed went down well, and Grizzly announced a day off. M-Team split up hurriedly as Bull opened up his doggy bag made from scrotums. Strolling through San Mona, Grizzly spied a tattoo parlour. With the beginnings of a plan forming, he slapped his money down on the counter. "I want one of Count Dracula, ya know? Only he's fat. And dead. Staked through the heart. With a pie in his hand. A humble pie. I don't mean small, I mean a pie with 'humble' on it. Written on the crust, not as a condiment."The owner disagreed:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/kyletat.jpgGrizzly backed away slowly, disturbed and aroused by Kyle's campness.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/klls.jpg"You're in luck." Unwilling to touch him, Grizzly folded the deed into a paper aeroplane and skimed it over to Kyle.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/kllssale.jpg'Everything' in this case meaning $10,060. Not too shabby, Grizzly reckoned, backing out of the shop, sweating from terror and desire. M-Team have an obese crime lord to rob. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zombie Posted August 23, 2009 Report Share Posted August 23, 2009 Kyle doesn't hit me as a tatoo artist... at least from his picture. A California surfer dude, yes. - Zombie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted August 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2009 OPERATION BURSTKIDNEYS - Phase 1. M-Team and S-Team get together, and pay Kingpin a visit.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/needbog.jpg"Don't mind us, man. We just need to use your toilet." Grizzly called cheerily. Kingpin waved them on, not even looking up from his pie. A-Team (for 'average', as manliness can only counter so much shitness) gathered in Kingpin's bedroom and bathroom, taking up defensive positions and watching all the windows. Barry ever-so-slyly planted some explosives amidst a group of goons, and near Kingpin himself.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/stealthbomb.jpg The ensuing explosion damaged a good half a dozen of them:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/boomkp.jpg In the chaos, A-Team struck, and in such close quarters it was a massacre. Goons died left, right, and centre, and even the more rubbish members made a contribution, firing out of the windows as reinforcements rocked up. They didn't hit anything, but they did provide handy targets for the enemies to occupy themselves shooting at. Soon, the house was cleared, but Kingpin wasn't dead. He wasn't in view, until he was spotted hiding in the corner of his games room, burbling about how he was going to drown everyone in lard. No doubt well-armed, I chose not to simply storm in and get shot. The closest mercs turned, and began to burst fire through the walls at Diabetic Dracula. He was hit enough times to flatten him, and lay there groaning as his fat slowly crushed his lungs, until Danny turned up and finished him off with a pair of .45 rounds to the kidneys:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/kpdyin.jpg With their leader dead, the rest of the criminals were hopeless, alternately fighting and bursting into tears, wondering where their next chicken-fried steak was coming from. The private club where the fights took place was the last bastion of Kingpin's criminality:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/clubassalt.jpgBut the copious cover out front meant the assault went well, and even Gumpy managed to hit a target or two. The last man in there died in the toilets, rolling in a miniature sea of water, beer, urine, and his own blood.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/lastmandying.jpg"How ironic, to die in a toilet." Gumpy spat. "When he liffed in a thewer of criminality." Bull punched a few civilians into submission, and it was over. Barry made short work of any locks, and a secret passage was discovered.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/kpsminenow.jpg$5k in each chest. Grizzly hadn't laughed like that since his wife died. $10k from Kyle, $15k from Darren, $30k from Kingpin's chests, $20k off Kingpin's body. $75k altogether. $64k went on hiring everyone for another two weeks, plus a few grand on shutting MERC up. What items did we get?https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/kpitems.jpgThat guardian vest is a step up in armour, those weapons can be sold, except for:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/steyr.jpgThe Steyr is a bit of a halfway house between sniper rifle and assault rifle. Decent damage, bloody good range, three-round burst, mag of 30 5.56mm rounds. Someone in S-Team can have it, I'm not that fussed about it. Now, one more sector of Kingpin's cannon fodder to clear out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted August 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2009 Phase 2 A-Team hit the ground running, taking up positions on corners, crouching at windows, and climbing onto rooftops. "My God we're ecthellent!" sprayed Gumpy as he watched the team deploy. "Thumbody givth me a leg up!" Ira gave the tubby little sniper a boost and he disappeared up onto the roof, snaking forward, Dragunov cradled in his arms. "Hut-hut." He snarled as he crawled. "Hut-hut hut-hut hut-hut." A gang of crims awaited the A-Team in front of the gun/porn store. "They'll come round here sooner or later." One of them assured another. "And when they do...BANG!" Malice shot one in the head and watched the brain mist fly. The gang scattered.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/sm2gang.jpgBarry, running low on 5.45mm ammo for his AK-74, chose his shots carefully, dropping two enemies with judicious head shots. A motley crew, unevenly armed and only lightly armoured, they were no match for the A-Team, and the only merc wounded was Ira, who was shot twice for the loss of two health points. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/sm2cleand.jpg The only person left aside from the gang was the madam of the whorehouse, and Bull crushed her in seconds, bellowing "Reasonably priced love!" Quality segregation resumed, with S-Team slinking off to congratulate themselves on just how excellent they were, and how M-Team couldn't be more overrated. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/iras2.jpgIn M-Team, Ira was a turd, and even Bull knew there was no polishing her. In S-Team, she's a shining light of professionalism. All context, isn't it. She's still shit though. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/flog2.jpgFlo is doing okay, albeit she doesn't get involved in battles too much. Only been hit twice? Something going on there. And having only killed 10 enemies is rubbish. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/biffa2.jpgA truly abysmal hit percentage, despite having the best Marksmanship in the team. It must be Biff! And it is. Additionally, getting wounded nearly twice a battle? Quality. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/timh2.jpgGumpy's doing well, not as laughable as I thought with a sniper rifle in his hands. Already notched up 13. Good man. MERC recruited two more fools. Larry "I'm alright to drive, man" Roachburn:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/laroach.jpg And Tim "Nice but Violent" Sutton:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/numb.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted August 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2009 It's time to leave San Mona.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/deprtsm.jpgM-Team head off to Alma to capture the town, and S-Team slope off to Chitzena, in an effort not to fail utterly at everything. The goodbyes are nonexistent. Time is always a factor, but not so much that M-Team must rush. A leisurely march takes them through the wilderness north of Cambria, cutting through the north-east sector of the town and into the desert beyond. Bull gobbles handfuls from his bag of toes to keep his spirits up as the sun beats down. Grizzly walks ahead of him, tight-lipped and smearing his tears into his sweat as soon as they appear. Malice quickly fashions a kepi out of leaves from an unlucky desert shrub, and mutters constantly about blood pudding. Barry resorts to drinking his own urine, and Danny lags behind and hopes no-one notices that he has forgotten the medical kit. OPERATION POPTESTICLES - Phase 1. M-Team pass by Alma to the west, and attack the town from the south. Patrols and defences to the north will be heavier, as that is the most obvious route of attack.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/almastart.jpg The U-shaped building was surrounded by a fence, and the fence itself bracketed by trees. M-Team forged onward, crawling from tree to tree, hiding behind patches of tall grass, until Bull found a place to cut the fence and sneak in.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/alma1.jpg The first notice they received of the rooftop sniper was Malice getting shot. Dropping his Dragunov and collapsing in a tasteful spray of gore that complimented his scarlet cravat, he made vague shooing motions as Danny hurried over to help him. "Non, non, I must not clash." "Help him!" Grizzly roared as he laid down covering fire, making the sniper go prone and disappear from view. Danny patched the hole with his first aid kit. "Good thing I brought the medical kit to treat ya after the battle." He mugged furiously, winking and pulling faces at the haemorraging Malice. "If I hadn't brought the medical kit you'd be out of action for quite'a while!" Malice grabbed his arm. "Please, tell me, do not lie, ze stain, she will come out, non?" Bull almost bumped into a guard patrolling inside the fence, knocked him down and hurried on. Barry laid down fire as the sniper reappeared, missing but again forcing him down. Grizzly shot the guard lying in the dirt. Barry sprinted on, taking up position behind a tree and waiting, AK-74 aimed, for the sniper to pop up again. Grizzly moved, running past Barry. Bull grenaded the rooftop in the sniper's general location, and the groan confirmed the hit. "Oh, merde alors." Malice growled, rising to one knee and retrieving his Dragunov. The sniper fired again, hitting Malice in the groin. "LA BAGUETTE MAGIQUE!" He keened, dropping his rifle and collapsing, clutching his private parts. Danny, en route to the hole in the fence, abruptly turned around and made his way back to the nearly-dead merc, firing a burst from one MAC-10 in the vain hope of htting the sniper. "Kee-rist almighty." He sighed, kneeling beside Malice and once again applying his first aid kit. "Wonder if there's a bandage small enough..." With Danny and Malice under fire, Grizzly leapt into action as Bull and Barry dithered. He leapt up, grabbed the edge of the roof and hauled himself up. The sniper spotted him and fired, missing. Bull grenaded the sniper again, managing not to hit himself in the face for the second time, which, given his Dexterity, was something of a miracle. The stun grenade blew the sniper off his feet, leaving his rifle behind, and two 7.62mm bursts from Grizzly's FAL smeared vital portions of him across the roof. Grizzly followed up by crawling over and peeking into the small yard between the arms of the U-shaped building, and killing everyone in it:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/grizistheman.jpg Leaving Malice on the floor clutching his damaged faucet of love, Danny joined the others as they cleared the building, sweeping all before them in a hail of bullets. Room clearance went relatively well, despite resistance with heavy firepower, only Bull and Grizzly got seriously wounded. Barry, in an attempt to make some sort of political statement, insisted on picking the locks on all the cells, even though they were empty:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bazdoesitbest.jpg Hunting in the remaining rooms for the last enemy, Bull farted:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bullfarts.jpg"We're going to be trapped in here for ages now." Grizzly complained. "I'm not walking through it, gas mask or no gas mask." Luckily, amongst the items found was a medical kit, and Danny produced it in short order as he began fixing the wounded. "Told ya I brought it." OPERATION POPTESTICLES - Phase 2. After Malice has scabbed over, it's time to hit the second sector. The mine:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/alma2.jpg I don't have a lot left in my medical kit, so ideally I'll do this without anyone getting injured. I need to capture all four sectors relatively quickly and get militia defending it. Alma is exposed on all four sides and ringed by patrols. They will soon turn inwards and begin to attack. Danny goes down early on in the battle, succumbing to a tear gas grenade:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/dannygoesdown.jpg"A man's got ta know his limitations." He wheezed. "And not being able to breathe tear gas is one of mine." Quickly followed up by a stun grenade, smoke grenade, and bullets, he was incapacitated in the early stages of the battle, and only aggressive fire and movement kept the enemy off him, as M-Team did a nice bit of maneouvring through the trees and long grass. Bull was more seriously wounded keeping the enemy back, and the long-range fire from Malice, Barry and Grizzly soon hacked the enemies down. A few hid amongst the buildings, but were soon ferreted out. "Sausages to celebrate!" Bull crowed, pulling the intestines out of a corpse. M-Team meet Matt Duncan, Head Miner:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/mattduncminealm.jpgHe's the head of the miners, he doesn't mine heads. Matty D also ever-so-casually mentions in passing his brother:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/rescdynamo.jpg And why is he in prison, pray?https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/killkidrapewife.jpgWell, as you've just admitted, he missed a meeting. So he's definitely in prison for something. Ignorance of the Child Murder, Spouse Surprise Sex and Miscellaneous Punishments Act (1995) is no excuse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulBrotherKab Posted August 27, 2009 Report Share Posted August 27, 2009 Ha, I love this. I've been reading it for awhile now. I love this game. Was wondering why you didn't make a custom merc? You know, someone to be your M-Team version of Hannibal? George Peppard is God, BTW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zombie Posted August 27, 2009 Report Share Posted August 27, 2009 It's pretty expensive to create a custom merc ($3,000 IIRC). And I'm not sure if a custom merc has the funny dialogue that the premade characters do. (Not that all of it is funny... but it can be in the right situations). I agree, anybody from the A-Team would be cool to recreate in JA2. Benedict, Schultz, Peppard and especially Mr. T. - Zombie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted August 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2009 Hello there SBK, reason I didn't bother with IMP is that, having played JA2 so many times, I think I've been through every possible combination as far as appearances go, and have certainly been through all the major 'types'; mechanic, bomb doc, medic, jack of all trades, etc. I just find the personalities of the existing mercs to be more amusing and would rather use them. An IMP is always useful though, as apart from the initial profiling cost they are of course free. Phase 3 The third sector of Alma contains two warehouses and one small office hut:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/alma3.jpgThere is a gate, but gates are for S-Team. M-Team once again winds its way through the trees, carves a hole in the fence with the incredibly useful wirecutters, and slips into the compound. Danny is still badly wounded, and loitered, groaning like an injured woman. Bull pushed on as the others grouped around the hole, running up to the building and prepping a grenade in case of a rooftop sniper. Lo and behold:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/rftpsn2.jpgThe others quickly joined Bull next to the building and out of the sniper's sight as Grizzly gives enthusiastic covering fire. The manliness cohered into a plan, unspoken but known to all, like a pride of lions going after a deer. Bull grenaded the roof, and for the third time did not hit himself or a teammate with it (I hovered my cursor over the empty slot, expecting a profile pic of Jesus to appear and a "Hallelujah!" to burst from my speakers, but no. Apparently it's just all those fingers Bull's been eating). As the sniper attempted to recover from being exploded, Barry and Malice swung up onto the roof and killed her to death. Further exploration of the rooftop revealed no other snipers, but one on the roof of the other warehouse revealed herself:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/rftpsn3.jpgAnd soon proved she had 200% better bullet-absorbing qualities than the next enemy. The only other enemy outside the warehouses was on the gate, whistling cheerily until a 7.62mm round from Malice smacked him in the back of the head. Whistling less cheerily, he turned and received another one to the chest, and died. M-Team hit the warehouse on the left, as it had a door unlocked and Barry's lockpicking hand was tired. Half a dozen enemies sprung as soon as the door was opened, swarming around the corner. Malice hit one with all five rounds from a Glock 18 burst. "It's gonna take more than that to kill me!" The enemy roared, closing in. Bull gave him a burst from his FAMAS. "Yeah, that'll do it!" The enemy moaned, collapsing. Malice stopped a bullet from the next enemy and retreated, bleeding all over a brand new shirt. "Saperlipopette." He sighed, kneeling and watching the blood spread. "Ah, c'est la mode." Bull brass knuckled two enemies to the floor in one turn, where Barry, down to less than 15 rounds for his AK-74, decided to burst fire and kill one. Another rounded the corner and shot Grizzly. "Oh, it's bad." The big man gasped, as a hail of fire from his compadres killed the remaining enemies. "Ever known'a bullet wound ta be good?" Danny asked, patching him up. Bull tugged on his sleeve. "I want a good bullet wound." The warehouse itself held a few crates containing weapons and items, and a lot of petrol drums.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/1whc.jpg"Nuthin new." Danny remarked, setting aside a FAMAS he found. "Got ta be sumthin special to make me set aside my MACs." Two enemies were hiding in the other warehouse, amidst crates of body armour:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/2whe.jpgActually taking it out of the boxes and putting it on was beyond them. M-Team were just resting up, when disaster struck:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/shoite.jpg "I have." Malice declared. "Had enough. Of zees." Snatching up a camo kit, he smeared it all over his face. Just like Arnie in Predator. Only with more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted August 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2009 Phase 4. A lovely military training facility.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/alma4.jpgIra and Gumpy will distract (get shot to pieces) the guards by attacking the front, while M-Team sneak in the back. Ira slithered forward on her belly to spot for Gumpy. Gumpy tried to keep his eyes off her wiggling arse.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/iraspot4gump.jpg M-Team hit the back fence and hunkered down before the sniper on the roof can spot them:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/rftpsnpr5.jpg Gumpy's initial efforts are poor, but he soon learns to look through the scope instead of at Ira:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/gumpsnipresults.jpg Bull and Danny sneak in the rear entrance, while Grizzly and Barry provide cover:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/entreealm4.jpg"A man's got ta...aww jeez it stinks of ass in here." Danny puts his gas mask on. Malice decided it was time to fight sniper with sniper:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/malrtsr.jpgAnd got shot twice. He dropped back down to the ground, clutching his ripped epaulette, Gallic fury written across his features in big expressive strokes of flushed skin. It's up to Grizzly to climb up and take care of that pesky shooter, which he does, without getting shot. Still fuming, Malice explored the site of a mid-battle explosion and found a chunk of wall gone, and a chubby fellow:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/sgtdonut.jpg"You dress like a Ukrainian prosteetute." Malice muttered, approaching cautiously. But there was no fight in the man, and Malice gave him first aid, working with commendable speed in case the Fashion Police turned up.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/sgtdleaves.jpg"Je m'en fous." Malice sighed, shaking his head and turning away. With the front entrance clear, Ira and Gumpy stormed the compound. As hilarious as that mental image is, the two buffoons actually managed to get close to the front door before coming under fire:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/gumpyswapbullet.jpgGumpy is hit by a smoke grenade, then a bullet. Incensed, he shot back and actually managed to hit his attacker. "Thuperb!" Barry took a bullet to the head, but his expertise at stopping projectiles with his skull saved him. Gumpy was severely wounded as he got overconfident during room clearing. Dragged aside and healed by Ira, his attempts to hold her close are foiled when she gave him enough morphine to drop a horse. With all the enemies gone, there was only one man left:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/legeneral.jpgRebuffing all attempts at conversation and recruitment, he levelled his rifle and shot Danny. "Return of the MACs!" Danny bellowed in repsonse. The first pair of .45 rounds did little damage. The second pair a little more. The third drove the general to his knees. The fourth blew his eyes out the back of his head. As most of the mercs settle down to heal up or train militia, Barry has a wander around, looking for explosives to play with. Instead, he finds a gentleman of the Russian persuasion:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/congill.jpg"Arrogant pig." Barry snarls, stalking away. As soon as he leaves the room he begins to weep fat Hungarian tears. "Remind me of wife." Tonight, if he cannot find any plastic explosive, he will sculpt a small model of Conrad from C4 in his dreams, and detonate it. Two interesting new weapons acquired. The M24:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/m24.jpgMore accurate and slightly longer ranged, but heavier and needing more APs than the Dragunov. The mag of five is also a bit of a problem, necessitating frequent reloading and meaning the 7.62mm NATO rounds have to be carried in 5-round groups. This means carrying a lot of ammo for it is a pain, as you can only carry 15 rounds per small inventory slot or 30 rounds in a large slot. The mortar:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/mrtr.jpgHeavy, but can drop big eggs of boom at a good range. Ammo is heavy and expensive, and an absolute bastard to carry in anything more than tiny amounts, as it's 1 mortar bomb per small slot or 2 per big slot. Currently I have no ammo for it at all, so it's going to be polished and set aside for a raining-bullet day. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/almawon.jpgTime to sit back, rest, repair, train, and plan the next move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulBrotherKab Posted August 28, 2009 Report Share Posted August 28, 2009 Another question...with Malice being the francophone he is, why is he not carrying that (in)famous piece of French crap, le FAMAS? Bull's manly, so he needs a manly weapon. Not a dainty little pea shooter. Hell, the entire team is suppose to be the Manly Team. No place for a badly made French paintball gun. Personally, when I play JA2 and am able to, I convert my entire merc army to guns that use 7.62 NATO. Sure, smaller ammo capacities, but more accurate and extremely heavy hitting. I never burst fire except for very close ranges. i.e. FN FALs, more like FN ALL! Anyway, can't wait to read more soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knan Posted August 29, 2009 Report Share Posted August 29, 2009 I never burst fire except for very close ranges. i.e. FN FALs, more like FN ALL! Oh come on, burst firing is fun! Fire selector to F for Family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulBrotherKab Posted August 29, 2009 Report Share Posted August 29, 2009 Well, yeah. It IS fun. But when playing seriously, not very practical. I'm of the mind, "One shot, one kill." Accuracy and damage is paramount when I play JA2. On another note, I'm surprised FullAuto has managed to get this far with the crew of retards he's hired. He's either really good, really patient, or really lucky. Probably all three. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted August 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2009 Another question...with Malice being the francophone he is, why is he not carrying that (in)famous piece of French crap, le FAMAS? Bull's manly, so he needs a manly weapon. Not a dainty little pea shooter. Hell, the entire team is suppose to be the Manly Team. No place for a badly made French paintball gun. Personally, when I play JA2 and am able to, I convert my entire merc army to guns that use 7.62 NATO. Sure, smaller ammo capacities, but more accurate and extremely heavy hitting. I never burst fire except for very close ranges. i.e. FN FALs, more like FN ALL! Anyway, can't wait to read more soon. What do you call a FAL with four attachments? EPIC FAL. I like the 7.62mm stuff too, don't get me wrong, but the FAMAS offers much better performance in close. Lighter, bigger mag, bigger burst (5x30 damage vs the FAL's 3x32), and less APs (Bull's up to about four bursts a turn, IIRC, this is with the rod and spring attachment). That's potentially four dead enemies a turn, at close range, (okay, two dead enemies, realistically) so it's the business for close range and room clearance. In a single shot comparison though, the FAL is better. You can't always choose the bigger, heavier weapon, or people will begin to wonder if you really are manly, or just compensating for something. Admittedly, they'll only wonder this for the time it takes a 7.62mm to bisect their head... It's the way things have turned out, I had Malice snipe initially as he had the best marskmanship, and now I've grabbed an M24 I really need someone with lots of APs, as it's a slow weapon, being bolt-action and all. Bull's a beast in close, these days one punch tends to lay an enemy out on the floor, and to put them out for a turn is worth 4 APs easily, so he needs a bloody good close-range rifle, and the FAMAS is it. I think it even has an edge over the C-7? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulBrotherKab Posted August 29, 2009 Report Share Posted August 29, 2009 Yeah, in-game the FAMAS really has weird stats that (if they based them on real world versions) it shouldn't have...other than the atypical high rate of fire for a 5.56mm NATO weapon. Which would actually DECREASE its accuracy, which is does. The C-7 (or as I call it the Eh-16) is probably one of the worst 5.56mm weapons in the game...but was included because SirTech was a Canuckistan developer. If you have a Colt Commando (the M4's grandpappy), might as well use that since it's lighter. Bull still needs something manly though...maybe an AK-type you might find later on. I believe it's got a low AP cost too. I remember when I played, once I found an AK it usually wasn't too tough to find ammo for it. If you looked for it, though. But I never used them much, lest they run around looking like a buncha communist revolutionaries. Better stick with the FN FAL to give them that South African mercenary in 1970s Africa civil war feel, IMO. This is why I liked the 1.13 mod though. Added like a bajillion guns and ammo types, and made them act more like their real world counterparts. Barret .50 cal anyone? Put that bad boy in the hands of my sniper IMP merc sitting on a roof and OH MY GOD I JUST ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD! A side note: I have this weird fantasy of being a corrupt white mercenary in 1960s-1970s Africa blood diamond/colonial wars. Kinda like Far Cry 2...I don't know why, but I really wish I was born 40-50 years earlier. The weird part about this though, is that I'm only half joking...Anyone else have this fantasy or something similar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted August 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2009 The C-7 (or as I call it the Eh-16) is probably one of the worst 5.56mm weapons in the game... In-game it's rather good though isn't it? Or am I misremembering its stats? Bull still needs something manly though...maybe an AK-type you might find later on. Got an AK-74 in squad, however it takes the smaller 5.45mm round. I'm sure there's an AKM lying around somewhere, eats the 7.62mm WP, which is probably the second most common ammo, after 5.56mm. Wonder if they made 7.62x39mm and 7.62x54mm R just 7.62mm WP for game balance purposes? Mind you, I think the Dragunov is the only 7.62x54mm R weapon in the game. I do wish I had been born early enough to use the FAL, as everyone speaks of it with reverence. It needn't be 50-60 years ago, either, it was the British Army rifle not so long ago, under the SLR moniker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knan Posted August 29, 2009 Report Share Posted August 29, 2009 A side note: I have this weird fantasy of being a corrupt white mercenary in 1960s-1970s Africa blood diamond/colonial wars. Kinda like Far Cry 2...I don't know why, but I really wish I was born 40-50 years earlier. The weird part about this though, is that I'm only half joking...Anyone else have this fantasy or something similar? Heh. Wouldn't recommend it. Anyway, good opportunities for it these days as well. There's some norwegian mercs in the news at the moment getting raked over the coals in a sham trial in Congo, heading towards getting shot for stupidity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulBrotherKab Posted August 29, 2009 Report Share Posted August 29, 2009 I know. My fantasy could only work if I had a time machine or some Matrix-like VR world machine to be in the 1960s-1970s Africa. Probably would've gotten some good work while Rhodesia fell apart. Ah, to march through the woods high as hell off of that root those crazy militias eat before going into battle, cleaning my rusting HK G3...I missed my calling in life by like 40 years. But I do need to work on my hilarious Seeouth AeeFricahn ackseent before I do any traveling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted August 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2009 But I do need to work on my hilarious Seeouth AeeFricahn ackseent before I do any traveling. What I do is I start reading The Dogs of War by Frederick Forsyth, with Lethal Weapon 2 on in the background, and I read all the book's dialogue aloud. You'll soon find it comes naturally. Even for characters who aren't South African (all of them, IIRC). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulBrotherKab Posted August 29, 2009 Report Share Posted August 29, 2009 Oh, play 20 hours of Far Cry 2 and you get a large dose of it too. Because they got voice actors that are actually from the places they depict. The problem in movies and stuff is that a lot of "South Africans" are just Americans, British, or Australians putting on goofy (-ier) accents. Or instead of actually putting on an accent, you get some Belgian guy who's could be from anywhere in Europe, or former European colonies, vaguely. You know what I mean...like all of the bad guys from Die Hard or something. Ruthless Romanian communist? WHO KNOWS? A solid, but kind hearted Frenchman? I CAN'T TELL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted August 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2009 Post-Alma evaluation. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/griz3.jpgGood increases in marksmanship, leadership and dexterity. Medical is getting there. That hit percentage is good, and having killed or help kill more than 100 enemies...Grizzly, the rock of M-Team. Gets wounded a lot, but bounces back due to his high health. If there's a double-hard bastard in M-Team, it's him. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/dan3.jpgThe new boy! Damn good increase in marksmanship, must have been eating bullets or something. Participating in the inhumation of nearly 50 enemies when he's only been here five minutes...not bad! Bad wound rate though, needs to keep his head down instead of strutting about the battlefield like Patton. If Patton carried twin MAC-10s and insisted upon shooting everyone in their pairs of organs. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bull3.jpgSuperstition has it that if you eat your enemy's heart, you gain his courage. God knows what you gain if you eat his spleen, but Bull has it. Lots of it. Good improvements in marksmanship, dexterity and leadership, accuracy is a bit poor and gets shot a bit too often. Not that it bothers him. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/baz3.jpgBarry, the baaaaad Mother Hubbard. 84 kills, Baz? 53 assists? In addition to whacking 20 points on your marksmanship and 46 on your mech skill? He's like a Hungarian Terminator. "I know now why you cry. But it's something I could never do. Unless I get nitroglycerine in my eyes." https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/mal3.jpgLagging just behind Barry in the assist stakes, is the Quebecois Crazy. If you need a man beaten, stabbed, machine-pistoled or shot at extreme range, Malice is there. Fast, tough, hard hitting, an attractive target due to his distinctive French chuckle. MERC have a new guy who isn't rubbish, Jim "The Rapist" Wallace:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/jimwal.jpgBy far the most expensive in MERC's stable, and the best. "Wait second!" Barry sat up, flicking his blanket aside. The corner of the blanket landed in the campfire and, soaked with spilled Hungarain moonshine, went up like the space shuttle Challenger. Ignoring his hot legs, Barry frowned into the smoke and flames creeping into his lap. He'd been dreaming of pretty flowers, something Bull had said, pointing out a man as they passed him. Throwing aside the remnant of the blanket and forgetting his scorched testicles, Barry roused the nearby mercs to investigate. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/trextakedown.jpg"Jathmin!" Gumpy challenged, as the others backed away a little, letting the idiot take the lead. "Or thould I thay...Theodore Rexthall, altho known ath T-Rexth!" T-Rex whipped out twin MAC-10s and fired wildly, winging a few mercs. Danny groaned in empathy. Bull tore one of the MACs away, taking some of T-Rex's hand with it, and the rest of the mercs charged in and started swinging. Beaten to the floor, T-Rex lay there groaning as Malice broke out the machete. "Zis is w'at 'appens to internazional terroreests!"https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/t-rexhead.jpgChalk up another $10k. Now, loyalty in Alma is slow to rise, so I'm off to stir the town's spirits:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/tixaraid.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted August 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 31, 2009 Another desert march beckons. On the way there, before the temperature rises and Bull breaks out in sweat that is more akin to lard than water, M-Team come across a house and barn that, although apparently empty, are in good repair. Too good.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/kairnshouse.jpg "My Hungary sense tingling." Barry murmurs, sweeping through the house once more, searching every nook and cranny, until:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/switchdrk.jpg Danny, innocently urinating against the back wall of the barn, was almost unmanned by the sudden opening of a cunningly concealed door:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/drkslair.jpg Ewan McGregor, I presume?https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/drk.jpg Time for the mad scientist monolgue:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/drk2.jpgO-kay, disturbing rating off the scale. Doc Kairns gives us 'passionate':https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/drk3.jpg Doc Kairns gives us 'aroused':https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/drk4.jpgJust physiologically, of course. Not sexually at all, goodness gracious no. With that, the loon turns to his robot and begins fiddling. M-Team leave, wondering collectively if there is one single sane person anywhere in Arulco. That night, a wandering patrol wanders through M-Team's sector during their beddy byes. Due to glow sticks and everyone having night vision or UV goggles, it's slightly one-sided:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/nightambush.jpg The next day, Tixa:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/tixaview.jpgNote the shadow. It's not a massive schlong, but a cactus. Honest. The whole prison is ringed with a fence.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/tixastart.jpgDeploying the wire cutters and Bull's errant snacking, an entrance is quickly made and M-Team sneak through. Malice took up position on the roof of the nearest building. Danny checked inside, seeing only a fat man and some children. Barry went forward with Bull and Grizzly on his flanks to get inside the main building. Then the warden looked out of the window.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/wardenhshot.jpg"Allo allo." Malice said, and, fixing her stern face in his crosshairs, made pate of her brains with one 7.62mm round from his M24. Similar to Barry's first experience with a woman, there was a little initial fumbling but he soon gained entry, and the tear gas, automatically deployed when the alarm went, was no problem thanks to gas masks.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/txcellschow.jpgDanny took a round in the face and collapsed during room clearance, but no-one else got scratched. "It's okay!" He burbled as blood poured out of the hole in his cheek. "It's just a flesh wound." Everyone in the courtyard got torn a new one or two (three for the stubborn types) as Malice used his M24 to good effect. One fully-aimed round a turn may not be much in quantity, but the quality and consistency of the hits counted. With supporting fire from inside the prison from Grizzly, the exterior was soon clear, and the interior was no challenge to the Men from Chivaldori. Grizzly surprised the last enemy.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/supplies.jpg"No! Please! Don't blow me!" The soldier begged. "No problem." Grizzly replied. Three 7.62mm rounds did to the enemy's innards what Muhammad Ali did to that baby when he fought it. As soon as Barry deployed his lockpicking skills (some lockpicks and a lot of Hungarian swear words), the prisoners fail the Gratitude Test:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/prisonercmt.jpg In one of the cells is the man M-Team came for:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/dynamo.jpg"My wife calls me Sexual Dynamite." He purred. "But, uh, you can call me Dynamo. I guess." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonHawk Posted August 31, 2009 Report Share Posted August 31, 2009 With a face all beat up like that, I'm pretty sure his wife won't be calling him Sexual Dynamite for a few weeks yet... How can you post just the first half though? Cruelty! I'm waiting for more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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