FullAuto Posted September 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2009 The Sexual Brontosaurus, as he styles himself, comes on board for $50 a week.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/dynamoprof1-1.jpgHe's a bargain. Good Wisdom, decent Marksmanship and Mech. A little poor in other areas, but he'll learn well, and that lockpicking expertise means some of the performance pressure is off Barry. Armed and armoured with the belongings of dead men, he picks up the few spare valuable bits of equipment he can carry, and leaves for Cambria, to join Ira and Gumpy. S-Team is now at half strength, but with the three necessary jobs filled: medic, bomb doc, and mechanic. S-Team is taking shape. A rather turd-like shape, admittedly... "W'at now?" Malice asks, lounging about in the desert heat, stropping at the local insect life with a fly whisk coloured to match his impeccable khakis. Grizzly spat, looking out over the dead guards bloating in the sun. Even though their internal gases were stretching them to splitting, none were as fat as Bull. Or as foul smelling. "We've got rats in the basement. Time to clear them out."https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/2ndleveltix.jpg"There's decent eating on a rat." Bull offered. The basement level begins with a room, one door to the south-east and a corridor to the south-west. Malice and Grizzly took cover behind the desk, watching the corridor, while the other three braced the door. Barry took a round upon opening it, and, alerted by the gunshot, enemies spilled out into the corridor:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/enemycorridor.jpgIt soon becomes the Corridor of Death, as enemies run into it and into a bullet in quick succession. The close-quarters trio sweep the place with stun grenades and tear gas and wade in, quickly fighting through to the cells:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/commishorflash.jpg"Flash?" Asked Barry. "Pah, forget. I know saviour of every one of us not in Arulco. Shame!" In the next cell on the opposite side is a thin, pale young man with the stickiest palms in the known world:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/lambshank.jpg"Like lamb a lot to name self after it! Kudos!" Barry cried, and hurried on to actually take part in the fight instead of swapping bon mots. Circling around through the side rooms and corridors, the trio surprise someone carrying a very nice weapon:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/cawnsicked.jpgAnd Barry found another one when he cracked open a locker. Essentially a shotgun, the CAWS is a terror at close range, especially in burst mode. Only problem is the scarcity of ammo. The short range can also be problematical, but a skilled shooter using slug ammo can get hits out to 20 squares or so. The remaining enemies are cornered, tear gassed, and shot. Bull begins to make finger puppets out of actual fingers as the other mercs round up the spare kit. Barry springs Shank easily, and has a word:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/shankcrime.jpg"Oh yes? Yes, in Hungary, we have this law also. No orchids, on pain of death. Work with us, grow all plants you want. Even," here Barry pauses and looks around before continuing, "daffodils." Barry concludes his irresistible offer with a huge wink, promising unlimited decadent gardening with a single expression. Shank has only one condition:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/shanksillz.jpg"Barrel of laughs." Barry mutters, imagining a bustling party with added flying sharp pieces of metal. $20? $20 too much:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/shankprof1.jpgMy grandmother could fight him, and she's dead. Weaker than Biff, less Agility than Flo, enough Marksmanship to ensure hitting his own foot is always possible. Good wisdom is his only saving grace. Constant exposure to Celine Dion albums has rendered the only other surviving prisoner a wreck:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/gordjeff.jpg Grizzly comes across a hole in the floor:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/gddahole.jpgFrom it, he can hear whimpers and screams, and other noises, scuttling and chittering. Inhuman sounds from horrible, unimaginable things. Because this is not a horror film, he does the right thing, gathers the rest of M-Team and all they can carry and escapes.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/tixaevac.jpg Using Shank as a donkey may be a mistake, though:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/shankweak.jpg276% eh? Oh, what a shame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonHawk Posted September 14, 2009 Report Share Posted September 14, 2009 M-Team!!!! We must know what happens next! Teeellll meeeeeeee! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted September 15, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2009 Cambria is an uneasy resting place. With two sectors under enemy control, the townsfolk don't know which way to jump. They eye the mercs with hope and despair alternately. Equipment is repaired, polished and taken off Bull. Weapons are cleaned, function checked and zeroed. Magazines have their springs eased. Rounds are counted, grenades are packed carefully into pouches. Gumpy insists upon sitting astride the mortar in order to "apprethiate the power." between his legs. S-Team, between long hours of training, haul armfuls of weapons to San Mona for sale to bring in more revenue. M-Team needs another merc. Manliness a must. One day, as Grizzly passed by the yard where Bull was instructing S-Team in the fine art of kicking people in the testicles and clubbing them across the back of the skull with a brick, he heard "I'm telling you, if the Nazis had just eaten the Jews, they would have done better." Deciding that enough was enough, he interrupted the lesson, and ordered S-Team to carry out an attack. "Attack where?" Biff piped up, forgetting his place as the most hated merc in all of the universe. After everyone finished throwing things at Biff, Gumpy asked, "Yeth, where? Where thould we athtack?" "Anywhere." Grizzly waved his hands in opposite directions. "But we're a man short." Ira pointed at Biff. Grizzly groaned, and seeing Bull about to resume his speech on World War II-era minority eating, volunteered himself. "Just as fire support, though. No real fighting. You guys need work." Biff grabs his rifle and the weight drops him to the floor. Shank is weeping under the burden of two loaded magazines. "A lot of work." After several seconds of arguing, a coin toss, a weeping fit (Biff), and some sulking (Ira), it's decided that the mine sector of Cambria is ripe for clearance. This will bring no money directly, but more goodwill from the townsfolk, and perhaps some of the local businesses will start buying the hoard of second-hand bloodstained kit laying around. Grizzly loaded up appropriately for his role:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/mrm79.jpg Meet the unluckiest guard so far:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/unlucky.jpg"Awww Hell nawww." He said, before S-Team killed him. With Grizzly dropping 40mm rounds on every single enemy, not even S-Team can lose. Stunned, blown up, tear gassed, the enemies are all these things, sometimes simultaneously, and while insensible, weaponless, and incapacitated, it's something of a fair fight. Shank fails miserably at shooting, due to the recoil propelling him several feet backwards with every shot. Dynamo loses his temper as soon as the battle begins and simply hoses every single thing in front of him, receiving by unanimous decision the role of point man. With the enemies dead and oozing, S-Team clean up, restore order, carve their names into some trees and find a damn good weapon:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/hk21.jpgThe Heckler & Koch 21 is one of the few machine guns in the game, good damage, good range, eats 7.62mm NATO ammo, lots of it, and is fairly heavy. The small mag size of 20 is a bit of a bugger, as to take advantage of the machine gun's accurate bursts, you need to use them, which of course burns through rounds in no time at all. Four bursts, and that's a mag gone. It's quite easy to go through four mags in a battle, and carrying enough ammo is difficult without doing away with other useful kit. A kick-arse weapon though, definite rod and spring candidate. Now that the mine sector is clear, Estoni is accessible again.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/jakeshank.jpg"A likely story, you old fart." warbles Shank as he collapses under the tremendous weight of his 5.56mm bullpup assault rifle. Ira's feminine wiles and general ineptitude make an impression on Maddog:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/maddog-1.jpg"And don't say I didn't warn you because I just did and that means you'd be lyin!" Maddog lists his credentials:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/mdogpmsses.jpgOh, you'll fit right in, squire. Oh yes.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/maddogprof1.jpg Back in Cambria, Grizzly hefted the HK21 thoughtfully. "We need a man to use this. I mean, a skilled machine gunner. Someone who knows automatic weapons. Someone who loves automatic weapons. Someone who's not afraid to give and take a whole assload of fire." "But 'ooo?" Malice asked, sipping Cabernet Sauvignon from his canteen. Who indeed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulBrotherKab Posted September 15, 2009 Report Share Posted September 15, 2009 I nominate Magic. He's quite the man, IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonHawk Posted September 16, 2009 Report Share Posted September 16, 2009 I vote for Conrad or Fidel (neither of whom I've used much). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted September 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 After a little thought (and a lot of time for this thought thanks to the lesser intellect of some of the mercs. Bull, in other words), Danny spoke up, thumbs tucked into his belt to prevent it falling under the weight of two MAC-10s. "What about that Conman Gillette guy?" Barry's mouth pursed in Hungarian disapproval, the most extreme kind of disapproval. "Conrad Arrogant Russian Pig Gillett." One of Danny's eyebrows quirked up. "You know him? You wanna try an' recruit him?" "Not me." Barry stalked from the room. "I have things to blow up." "Inflatable madmoiselle?" Malice suggested, sniggering. A grenade landed in his lap. "Next time." Barry snarled. "It will have fuze." "Okay, so Barry won't go." Grizzly did his best to avoid Bull's eyes. "Who should we send? It's a pretty shitty job, after all. Crossing the desert again, enemy patrols, bloodcats, and no guarantee of success. I mean, he might shoot the messenger." Conrad talks about himself in the third person again:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/conradg.jpgSure sign of an unstable mind. He asked for the frankly outrageous sum of $5,500 per day, and Ira batted her eyelashes, flashed what passes for her cleavage and Conrad offered $3,300 contingent upon her buttoning her shirt back up.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/conradprof1.jpgHe is expensive, but he is also quality. He's an excellent shot, could easily back up the squad medic or bomb doc, a good learner, and most importantly for me, has the auto weapons skill. A machine gunner par excellance, as Malice might say, if his mouth wasn't full of goat liver pate. S-Team, high as kites after their success of clearing the mine sector, decide to clean up the hospital.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/hospitalagain.jpgThe rifle group deploy to one flank, amid trees and grass. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/asssquad.jpgThe assault group go in the front door with Gumpy providing long-range support fire. God help them. A quick gun battle in the central corridor, bullets flying over the heads of staff and civilians, makes for a lovely respite for Shank as he hides in one of the rooms. Shaky with fear and weak with wimpiness, he slices open a tube connected to the nearest patient and has a drink. Gumpy, crouched behind the door, reloads his Dragunov and watches with wide eyes. "Whath the Hell are you doing?" "Getting a drink." Shank puts the tube back in his mouth and sucks hard. Mmm, salty. "Thath pith!" "It's what?" Shank asks, tube at the corner of his mouth, clamped between his teeth. "Pith! Pith! Urine!" Shank spits the tube out. "I thought it was saline..." As the rifle group circled round to clear the back of the building, they bumped into some enemies. Biff failed to hit them, and it was up to Ira and Flo to take them out. Unfortunately for Biff, so fortunately for everyone else, the angle was such that Ira was shooting past Biff, and she managed to hit him twice, living everyone's dream.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/irashootsbiff.jpgThe 7.62mm HPs expended themselves (mostly harmlessly) in Biff's body armour, and he staggered off to piss blood for a week. Armed with a FAMAS each, and Maddog and Dynamo blessed with the Psycho ability means the enemies are soon beyond the hospital's help, and Maddog's intermittent use of the CAWS:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/1stcawsuse.jpgMeans none of their organs are useful for anything other than a constituent of mechanically recovered ham. Maddog makes sure it ends on a classy high note:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/endbattle.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted September 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2009 Finally, with a full complement of manliness, M-Team started out from Cambria, angling south-west to pass through Estoni and find out if there was any worthwhile crap for sale. Conrad immediately earned the respect of the other men, lugging the HK21, complete with laser scope, sniper scope, and bipod, weighing in at a neat 26.2lbs. With ten 20-round mags of 7.62mm NATO and standard issue kit, this took him right up to full weight capacity, but he kept up, chanting rap lyrics in Russian under his breath as he marched. "Merde." Malice stopped and glanced back as Bull let his flatulence run free for the nth time. "'Eee is robbing me of moi joie de vivre." "They'll be able to find us by smell alone." Grizzly prophesied glumly. Barry groaned. "Not dogs?" Grizzly hiked a thumb at Bull, squatting with a look of fierce concentration on his face. "They won't need dogs." Probing further south, deeper into very hostile territory, M-Team neared Meduna, Deidranna's base of operations and the capital of Arulco. M-Team spotted signs of enemy patrols, and adopted hard routine, no fires, cold food and drink. "Except piss!" Bull contributed cheerfully, and was met with groans of disgust. "What? WHAT? It's a warm drink isn't it?" Two sectors from Balime, M-Team bumped into an enemy patrol as they attempted to flank a roadblock. "Like MC Ren says, we are gettin jacked by the you-know-who!" Conrad announced, going prone and setting up his MG.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/outsidebalime.jpg Conrad and Malice, even as they begin giving supporting fire, get shot up and grenaded. The damage is most serious to Malice's fashions, and as they recover they're taken out of the fight by liberal use of 40mm smoke grenades:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/smokegrenuse.jpg However, as they are bullet magnets, Bull has a free reign to leg it around the enemy to the south, and Barry gleefully uses his Diemaco C-7 to mess up some enemies, the full-size barrel and extra muzzle velocity guaranteeing fragmentation of those girlishly delicate 5.56mm rounds, blossoming like explosive flowers of lead inside the mushy innards of the enemy soldiers. Danny is at a bit of a disadvantage due to the long average range of the shootout, but engages several enemies as they storm through the smoke cloud at Malice and Conrad, HPs failing to penetrate body armour but punching the enemies hard enough to drop them. As Grizzly holds steady and engages the enemies with pinpoint fire from his FAL, bullet after bullet punching home, Bull finished his movement, took up a good position and opened up with well-aimed single shots, dropping three enemies in two turns:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bulldrops3.jpg"No strangling though." He sighed sadly, reloading. M-Team grabbed what they could and struck out north-east immediately, getting off the road and into the wild. Reinforcements, this close to Meduna, would not be long in coming. Hiding in the woods, M-Team passed a cold night repairing kit, healing wounds, and trying to convince Conrad that Dr Dre is not a real doctor. The dawning sun saw them on the march north, back to Estoni for a safe place to rest. Conrad brought up the rear, his wounds and refusal to accept that MC Escher was not a rapper distancing him from the others. At Estoni, Jake had some slightly more applicable crap for sale, and it was bought up and distributed immediately. "Think they followed us?" Barry asked, wincing at the stink from the garbage piled roundabout. Malice spread a spotless handkerchief on the mouldy ruin of an armchair before sitting in it. "I do 'ope so. My rifle, she iz 'ungry for more lives." Bull rooted amidst the garbage, quite literally as happy as a pig in shit, as Grizzly thought. Conrad began placing mags by his position behind a stack of cardboard boxes full of 1970s pornography, judging that several hundred fossilised issues of Asian Babes would stop anything short of .50 BMG with no trouble. "Because as Ice Cube says, bullets are bad for your health." "Alright, Danny on the left, by the entrance to the junkyard. Anyone comes in, have a couple of .45-calibre words in their ear. Malice, at the rear, provide long-range support from behind good cover. Bull, Barry, front and centre, aimed shots and then bursts when they make it inside. Conrad?" Conrad looked up from levering open an ancient porn mag. "Er, carry on." Sure enough, as M-Team tried to settle down to some rest and repairing, fifteen goons turned up:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/estonidef.jpg Grizzly had little luck with rifle fire for once, so swapped to his M79 and began dropping stun grenades on groups of enemy, unfortunately catching Danny with one:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/40mmstuse.jpg"A man's got ta..." Danny choked, miming 'limitations', 'air' and 'oxygen starvation' rather accurately before collapsing. Conrad turned into an absolute beast, screaming "KISS MY BLACK ASS!" with every burst, and every burst finding a home inside an enemy. His worst was three out of five rounds hitting the target, and the lucky man on the receiving end lived long enough to catch four of the next five rounds in the next turn. Barry's rifle fire from his C-7 was also decisive, the range of his weapon ensuring he could engage the enemies accurately while they still had plenty of ground to cover. Bull and Grizzly picked up minor wounds as return fire ploughed through stacks of crap and hit them, with most of the sting being absorbed by He-Man figures, Commodore C64s, and back issues of Jugganaughty. Conrad inevitably attracted plenty of fire, killing enemies as soon as they appeared, and eventually some bullets managed to dig through even the Asian Babes bulwark and graze him. "I'll smother your mother!" He roared furiously, and dropped flat amongst his spent mags, already digging out his first aid kit. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/placement.jpgIn the middle of the firefight, bullets criss-crossing inches from him, Skipper the bloody lunatic stopped to smell his armpit. Storming into the killing zone did them no good at all, and soon the only thing moving was empty casings as they rolled down piles of trash.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/endofdefest.jpgBull managed to catch a serious hit, but it was his own fault for thinking a headless rocking horse constituted cover. 15 enemy dead, most of my squad barely scratched. Truly, in the words of Conrad, M-Team in full effect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulBrotherKab Posted September 21, 2009 Report Share Posted September 21, 2009 Heh, who would have guessed that Conrad Gillit was a Russian wigger. Hopefully he has some Roots in his iPod...otherwise he can never truly be a real black man. Is he even Russian? Hell, with his name and weird accent, he could be from anywhere in Europe, North America, or South America...basically the entire West. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorondor Posted September 22, 2009 Report Share Posted September 22, 2009 It's good to see "ze litul Canadian", Malice, finally advertising something manly on that last pic (excessive Gas?) I suppose it could be considered fashionable to emanate per-fume Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted September 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2009 Once healed, and with a full load of first aid kits and glow sticks thanks to Jake, M-Team broke west from Estoni to the sound of Conrad insisting yes, MC Hammer did invent the tool. The ground was difficult, swamp and bog that slowed progress to a couple of sectors a day. Only Bull, who insisted upon eating every leech that attached themselves to his flab, flourished. Malice cursed the water ruining his calfskin boots and soaking his silk socks beyond repair. Emerging from the dank marsh some days later, M-Team spied a wonderful sight. A road. An actual road to walk on. But beyond that, an expanse of shining sand, and bright blue sea. "Mon Dieu." Malice let his M24 hang on its sling. "A beach!" M-Team started forward in a daze, except for one. Conrad shushed him, retreating back into the treeline. "Woop woop, it's the sound of da beast!"https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/exploringdwnsouth.jpg M-Team immediately spied three enemies, one of them stood in the middle of the road practising his body popping.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/beachcombatstart.jpg Barry, dazed by the glory of the beach and lulled by the whisper of the waves upon the sand, stroking them in a manner akin to a massager massaging the massagee, was slow to react, and caught a round in the head for his trouble. "No trouble for one such as I! OHLORDHEAVENABOVEITHURTS!"https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/barryheadfail.jpg Conrad opened up with the HK21, and for the rest of the battle, if he wasn't shooting, he was reloading. An enemy was hit by all five of a burst, and had no choice but to go down on his knees before such awesome manliness. 176 points of pure damage.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/conrad176.jpgThen on his face. And then very dead. The cover petered away to nothing so near the beach, and the small trees proved too weak to stop bullets, as Grizzly found out to his cost:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/rightsideofroad.jpgDeploying a web of smoke grenades at carefully timed intervals, M-Team created a mesh of cover that the enemies had to advance into, or remain visible in narrow avenues covered by Malice's M24 and Conrad's HK21. Fire from the flank proved murderous, and many died in a hail of 7.62mm as they tried to cross the road to reach the men hiding behind the smokescreen. Danny performed his close protection role impeccably, stopping anyone who veered Conrad's way with a pair of .45 ACPs.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/leftroadbeachcombat.jpg A pair of serious wounds, but a dozen enemies cleared up in light terrain, the damage could have been worse. Barry losing those wisdom points is a bit of a bugger, but Hungarian brain cells are resilient. S-Team had bigger trouble:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/steambloodcats.jpgEven the twin FAMAS and Psycho combination failed to save the team from major damage, with both Maddog and Dynamo being knocked out. Gumpy deployed his Glock 18 to good effect, spraying 9mm rounds everywhere, and Shank even managed to hit a bloodcat or two, in the few seconds his paltry muscles managed to support his rifle. The last cat clawed some meat off the little on his bones, and died. S-Team staggered off, the Sexual Rhinoceros bringing up the rear, mumbling about how pain lasts forever, chicks dig glory, and scars soon fade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonHawk Posted October 3, 2009 Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 Everyone has a FAMAS now. Where are your AKs? The Arulco army must have hundreds of AKs shipped in from Russia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulBrotherKab Posted October 3, 2009 Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 You would figure Arulco would have so many AKs that you'd have to wade through them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted October 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2009 I've found several 74s, but only one 47. TBH, I don't think the 47's ever been that common. Shows up mid-game usually, but I've never been swamped with them. Instead of heading north, as Deidranna's forces would expect, M-Team headed south and then east. Sadly, the goons failed to fall for it.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/esc1.jpgA spiteful exchange ensued, with every second bullet hitting a rock or tree. Massive ammo wastage was the result, and even an exchange of grenades was largely unsuccessful. Minor wounds piled up on both sides, each bullet only managing single-figure damage, until Conrad got clear of the close terrain.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/conmass2.jpg"Witness the strength of street knowledge!" Finally free of the grasping clutches of the enemy, M-Team hurried back to Estoni to peel off their leeches amidst the junk piles. "Truly, zis is ze life." Malice settled down to calculate his wages. "One zousand four 'undred dollars per diem? Mon dieu, zat is not eenough to even pay moi barber! Why do I do zis work!" MERC costs soon add up:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/soonaddsup.jpg The next day, as S-Team get to swan about smirking and selling spare weaponry and bits of kit, threatened only by bloodcats, blisters and the occasional flash of Ira's arse crack, M-Team delve back into the swamps, teeth gritted. "Eazy E says what you want is an unexpected approach." Conrad assured them as they forged on, trying to find a path through to Meduna. "Shut up, Conrad. You think they named a bird after MC Ren." Grizzly shoved him onwards. Staggering about hip-deep in filth, each step an effort as feet are torn loose of the glutinous sucking mud, it was inevitable that a patrol would find them.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/swampagain.jpgClimbing out of the water, M-Team waddled into cover behind trees, shaking off frogs and leeches on the way. Bull, having grown tired of leech appetisers, contented himself with picking and eating the contents of his nose in dainty nibbles between shots. The terrain was more open here, with few rocks but plenty of trees and shrubs. Danny found it difficult to take cover behind the gnarled trunks, judging the angle wrong and getting a bullet for his trouble. Trauma plate shattered, he moved position only to be shot again in the same spot. Taking the hint, he buggered off to the rear for the rest of the fight. The enemies, directed by a couple of elites, showed a worrying predilection for wading through water to reach M-Team, and were rewarded with lead projectiles travelling at velocities ranging from 924 to 3,000 feet per second. Naturally, the result was quite often significant pain, and in all cases, fatal.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/swampvic.jpg Bull spotted something sexy amidst the dead:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/minimi.jpg"Looks like we're gonna need another machine gunner." Grizzly sighed. "Man's got ta know his rates of fire, beaten zone, grazing fire, elevation, range and wind estimation, plunging fire, point, area, linear and deep targets, immediate action drills and maintenance procedures." Danny spat, holstering his MAC-10s. "Do you want to do it?" Grizzly offered him the Minimi. "Nah. Not really." "Well, we need someone else then. Someone who loves automatic weapons." Grizzly mulled over the possible choices. "Technically, we need two someones and then we've got a full complement for S-Team." "And zey 'ave to be cheap, too." Malice piped up. "Our finances, zey are not too 'ealthy." "Two guys, and one an auto weapons specialist, for cheap? Where the Hell are we gonna find them?"https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/heeresfrankie.jpg Another day, another foray, this time to the south-east. M-Team slip into a sector to find themselves right behind two guards. "You hear about Farrah Fawcett dying just before Michael Jackson?" "Uh, yeah, I think so." "Well Farrah gets up to the Pearly Gates, y'know, and St Peter stops her and says 'Farrah, we grant wonderful people like yourself a wish before they enter Heaven. Name it, anything you like.' And she says 'Well, all I want is forAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!" "I don't get iAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!"https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/seprobe.jpg M-Team took up positions in the best of the sparse cover available and the enemies swarmed forth.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/laststand.jpg The combination of cover and superior firepower won the day, with only Grizzly receiving a major wound:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/grizbadw.jpg Covered by Bull and hidden by a smoke grenade, Danny patched him up as Malice and Conrad continued to rain 7.62mm terror down on enemy heads, with Barry dropping anyone who got close with a burst to centre mass. A night of healing (not the sexual kind, much to Grizzly's disappointment) followed, and in the morning M-Team moved on, further south-east, intent on reaching the south coast and then reassessing their options. Of course, this close to Meduna, enemy patrols are annoyingly common. M-Team split into pairs, taking advantage of the few bits of cover available:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/southbeach.jpg Conrad then decided it was time to see what the HK21 could really do, and promptly fired off 150 rounds against a patrol of about eight enemies, using bullets like they were going out of fashion and the sirens of the Fashion Police were closing in. For once, his accuracy was poor, and few of the rounds found their mark. The rest of M-Team did the job though. "Ah yes." Conrad sighed in the shade of a palm tree, viewing two of his victims and the blood trail of a third. "Truly this is living in the dayz of wayback."https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/twobodyshade.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted October 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2009 Meanwhile, back at the S-Team ranch: The 'induction' of Razor and Haywire wasn't going as planned. Maddog and confreres had planned on a good old introductory 'bag over head, beer and urine baptism' which went wrong from the first. Razor and Haywire wasted no time in biting through the bags, and the unlucky quartet, encumbered by their beer and urine dispensing equipment, could not escape. An alternate activity, consisting of Russian roulette with Haywire's .38 revolver, proved to be amusing, once Shank, who was last, broke down in tears and Haywire revealed it wasn't actually loaded. The second round, played with Razor's Colt semi-auto, proved another matter. "But..." Although he had to try hard, even Gumpy could manage this one, especially with the muzzle against his temple. "I'll be killth." "All ya gotta do is pull tha triggah!" Razor snarled, gesturing to the sky. "It's EASAH!" "But there'th only one thamber. There'th dethinitely a bullet in it, I thaw you cock it. Can'th you thee-" "All I seeah is a coward afruyd to pull tha triggah!" Razor crowed. "O-okay. Yeth, I'll do ith." Gumpy closed his eyes and pulled the trigger. S-Team winced. "Ya gotta take tha safety off!" Razor howled. "Enough fun, guys, there's a machine gun somewhere round here with my name on it." Haywire scowled. "Must be on the barrel. Or stamped really small on the receiver." Armed and armoured with the best of the cast-offs lying around, Razor and Haywire joined S-Team, and they set off to conquer Drassen. A hard day's march saw them just south-west of the town, camped out in the wilderness. While Haywire stroked his Minimi lovingly, he talked Gumpy through 'securing' Razor for the night. "But why ith thith even nethethary?" Gumpy asked, staring down at the complex web of manacles that would do any sadomasochist proud. "Well ya see, I got this unnatural vitalitah, an I don't need as much sleep as other people. Sometimes I get up durin the night and just stab someone to death! STAB STAB STAB. Jest like that." Razor shrugged. "So, it's eithah lock me up, or I cut ya up." "But what ith we get attacked during the night?" Gumpy tentatively hauled an ankle cuff off the pile. "Well all ya gotta do is unlock me and unleash me!" Razor mimed pulling someone's intestines out via their anus. Gumpy advanced cautiously, weeping, and chained him. The night passed quietly, not that Gumpy got any sleep anyway, but the next morning was eventful:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/steam1sttest.jpg Haywire was still getting to grips with his Minimi, and in his first live fire exercise ripped several acres of woodland to shreds but missed the bloodcats. Maddog was targeted by the animals, and as they surged closer, he ignored the first of several bites to shoot, dropping one who decided his ankle looked quite juicy. At close range, the fire from the 5.56mm multitude was horrendous, and even the resilient beasts started to drop. Things started to look up until a fresh wave arrived.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/desperate.jpg"RELOOOOOOOOOOOOOAD!" Haywire hollered, the Minimi's 6-round burst having emptied the 30-round mag in record time, but no-one needed telling "No God-damn bloodcat is getting it's jaws on the Sexual Compsognathus' yin-yang!" Dynamo declared as fangs missed his groin by inches. "Dynamo, save my ass again!" Shank squealed, hosing down another bloodcat with his FAMAS. "And not like for tomorrow, like when we were back in prison, I mean for real!" Razor never hesitated, wading in with burst fire and the odd stroke of his rifle butt, and as Haywire got the hang of the Minimi, even the larger second wave fell to pure firepower and constant oaths that the Sexual Platypus wasn't going to be killed by a pussy.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/probsolved.jpgSurveying the carnage, weapons hot in hand and spent cartridges all around, the stink of blood and gunpowder in their noses, S-Team slowly relaxed. "Hey!" Razor knelt down by a bloodcat, got it in a headlock, and moved its jaw with his hand. "Who wants ta buy a fur rug?" What was left of Maddog set about clotting, and the others reloaded and recuperated. Dynamo and Maddog broke out the repair kits and fixed up the weapons, which had been slightly degraded by the sheer amount of fire poured out. Ira was rerouted from pretending she was in charge in an empty office to hurrying to S-Team's location with a medical kit. Arriving later the same day, she immediately set about sewing Maddog's legs back into some semblance of functionality, and after the morphine had worn off, got Razor and Haywire to sit on him while she worked. He was still busy healing when soldiers attacked:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/surpriseteam.jpg S-Team, even with Ira there, managed to react with a shocking amount of professionalism. Glow sticks went out in an arc, creating a barrier of visibility the enemies would have to cross. Razor, even chained and lying flat, managed to grenade the closest enemies with stun and tear gas. Haywire immediately went prone and began to shoot anything even vaguely man-shaped, resulting in the sad deaths of several young trees. Ira took a round early on, due to her insistence on not sleeping anywhere near Dynamo, but quickly scampered into the midst of S-Team to have a cry and some chocolate. Maddog, all too aware of his wounds, retreated a little, went prone, and laid down plenty of fire. Shank guarded the left flank, dropping flat and laying silent and still, a piss-weak but deadly activation mechanism for his FAMAS. Gumpy did his best to give accurate fire support with his AUG, picking off anyone wounded, or dropping healthy enemies in the light with shots to the legs. The enemies retaliated, dropping glow sticks in the middle of S-Team.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/dynamic.jpg"DISPLAAAAAACE!" Haywire screamed, revealing their position to anyone who wasn't deaf or in the next country. The team had it away on their toes, except for Razor, who could only squirm and wriggle in his chains. He made the best of it though, lying just on the edge of the light and shooting anyone who tried skirting around it. Taking up new positions further back, S-Team waited, and as the enemies filtered through the field of scattered lights, opened fire again, with both bursts and single shots wreaking carnage and bloody Hell amongst the conscripts. Razor kneecapped one, and when the enemy climbed back to his feet and began staggering away, Shank shot him in the other leg. Writhing on his back, the enemy began to crawl until Gumpy shot him, the 5.56mm round entering the enemy's anus, tunneling through his body and exiting through the top of his head in a grotesque flowering of cranial gore. "Thath dithguthting." Gumpy gasped, and then shot someone else.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/attackfoild.jpgSoon the attack lost impetus, with the majority of enemies dead and the remainder wounded. A weak flanking action to the right, carried out by two brave souls, meant Haywire had to actually turn to kill them, but was otherwise futile.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/killingfields.jpgSilence fell on the killing field, with only the drip of blood and ping of cooling gunmetal audible. The first bird to cry into the night air was shot to pieces, but after that, underwear was changed and safeties applied. Ira treated her bullet hole and mouth with chocolate and fell asleep still worrying about calories. Gumpy and Shank had been grazed by rounds at some point, and they managed to disinfect and patch the damage with a minimum of tears and two lollipops each. Only in the morning, when the sun crowned the glory of the havoc they had wrought, could they fully appreciate the slaughter:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/lightofday.jpg"The Sexual Ornitholestes knows victory when he sees her." Post-battle, MERC emailed me:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/hyraise.jpgHe's been with me for five minutes... My strategic disposition is thus:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/stratpos.jpgM-Team, down south, have discovered an enemy camp, and will be investigating shortly. S-Team will heal and move on Drassen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted October 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2009 After some shockingly poor medical care, Maddog was soon ready to go, albeit the only man to ever limp with both legs. Ammo was redistributed, as the expenditure of late had been enormous, and a quick reorganise saw Haywire's stash reduced from 360 rounds to 240, with everyone else carrying a mere 60 spare and 30 loaded. Grenades were in short supply, but Gumpy had remembered to pack an M79 and 10 40mm stun grenades, which I had forgotten about. The lack of a dedicated medic was unfortunate, but Razor soon set to cutting himself and stitching the wounds by way of practice. He was also hauling the 60mm mortar, which still had no ammo. https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/drassmine.jpgHaywire and Gumpy provided cover fire as the others ran for the buildings. Haywire's low Marksmanship was a hindrance, but he was getting hits with every burst, just not very many of them. Few enemies came out to meet the rush, wisely as it happened, as those that did, died. But then again, so did those who loitered:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/gimmetmoiwcy.jpg"Gimme the friggin mine or I'll cut ya!" Razor said, stabbing another victim fatally. Maddog, never the quickest of learners, decided he could totally take three or four bullets to the chest, no problem. Sadly, he was proved wrong, and almost died, collapsing in close proximity to two enemies. Dynamo, powered solely by sexual rage, charged out into the open, firing haphazardly, managing to kill one and wound the other, and was saved by his armour when the return fire hit. Haywire then joined in, catching the enemy in a crossfire, and the result wasn't worth feeding to a dog. Shank hurried over and slapped dressings on Dynamo's bullet holes as Dynamo helped Maddog:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/healchain.jpg"You saved me!" Maddog coughed up a geyser of blood, head cushioned on an enemy's severed arm. "The Sexual Pteranadon doesn't leave his buddies." Dynamo assured him, doing his best to counter an abdominal haemotoma with a bit of gauze and some superglue. The rest was very simple, with Shank and Razor flushing enemies from cover and Haywire cutting them down. Razor's turn of speed helped surprise enemies from the flank and rear, and soon the sector belonged to S-Team. Ira was called in again, and it's not like she has anything better to do. Dynamo, the least injured of the two mercs best suited to burgling, got on with things, making conversation if caught:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/draminewon.jpg More than three months later, I finally get around to what Miguel asked for:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/fjwpissed.jpg"Oh yeah, Father? Bit of the old intercourse, huh? Best be washing those hands after you've stirred the waters in that font, you know what the old Sexual Piglet is saying."https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/drunkass.jpg"That's right, if he hasn't starved to death or been hunted down and shot like a dog by now. Who knows."https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/robchurch.jpg"Rob a church? Nah, this is God rewarding my for my sex quotient. Thanks God!" Another mine secured!https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/crepitus1.jpgAh, shit.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/enricoppt.jpgAnd they wonder why they deposed you, you arsehole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted October 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2009 Dynamo's burgling is interrupted by someone who has gone to the extreme measure of being possessed by the Devil and levitating to ward off intruders:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/levitating.jpg"I'm getting my sexy ass out of here!" After healing up (a prodigious feat for Maddog, considering his current woundmeister status) S-Team move on to the next sector of Drassen. Only the Lord knows what's got into them. M-Team, unhappy at being left out of the action, start north, leaving a trail of dead soldiers and massive turds in their wake. A few buildings, but lots of open space:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/drasmid.jpgOnce again Haywire and Gumpy settle in to provide long-range firepower, the others probe forward, from tree to tree. Or they do once they've managed to leave the bar, with it's unparalleled view of the alcoholic drinks and unending supply of salty snacks.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/barpos.jpg S-Team have barely left their den of iniquity and Strip Beer Quaffing when they come under fire from two suicidal fools who have stormed across a lot of empty space merely to shoot and be shot at. Rendered insensible by strong drink, S-Team is helpless, apart from one man. Haywire:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/hayflank.jpgHe saves the day, not by waiting until dark and then murdering and raping the soldiers and their families, but by flanking them from cover, and shooting them until they die:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/hayflank2.jpg Sobered by their collective near-death experience, S-Team forge on, apart from Razor, who stops to urinate against a tree, howl happily up at the sky, and bandage his wound. Priorities. Dynamo, with Haywire covering, storms a building:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/sweatshop.jpgIt proves to be full of children, and one adult, all cowering away from the large scarred man with the bloodshot eyes and the assault rifle. "Is this one of them sweetshops the Sexual Mercury Tilt Switch keeps on hearing about?" "Absolutely!" Cries the factory manager from behind a fort composed of wriggling infants. "O-kay!" Dynamo circles the building, relieved. The last two enemies decide to shoot it out, Butch and Sundance, Thelma and Louise, Bonnie and Clyde.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bs.jpgLike all those people, they die miserably in a hail of bullets (I assume this is what happens at the end of Thelma and Louise, and no heterosexual male has managed to last until the end of the film to disprove this theory). Doreen in her natural state:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/doreen.jpg Doreen moderated by a gun muzzle stuck against the base of her skull:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/dor2.jpg The children flood out onto the streets, crying and laughing with joy. The parents run from their houses, catching their little ones up in their arms, yelling with delight. Shank vomits the last dregs from his stomach and swears off pickles. M-Team's march is broken up by some surprise visitors:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bcamteam.jpgEven as one begins to snack on Danny's patellas, the others are bringing their weapons to bear. Or to cat. Whatever. Barry riddles one lunging feline with 5.56mm and then turns and spots another slinking through the long grass. "Hungary for more, eh!" He roars, brain obviously not quite healed yet, and opens fire again.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/doneeasy.jpgA nice respite from marching for them. Apart from Danny, who now walks like Jackie Chan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zombie Posted October 27, 2009 Report Share Posted October 27, 2009 Wow, you're first getting to Drassen now? Just goes to show that you can play the game however you want. The key to Drassen C-13 (at least, this works for me) is to invade from 2 directions at once: a small crew of 2 mercs from the North and another team from the West. Group the North force together and stick them between the downed plane and helicopter - at least one enemy always spawns there. For the West force, split those mercs up into two groups and place them on the West side of the two smaller buildings. Haven't really found a good way to invade Drassen Mine (D-13), but a lot of the enemies seem to show up around the church area so I try to put a good chunk of mercs around there. A couple mercs invading from the East seems to be a good strategy since a few enemies tend to congregate in the center of town too. If you can catch them in a crossfire, it should be easy to finish the rest of the baddies off since you can guess where they will be coming from. But these are strategies for greenhorn mercs. For your well-seasoned squad with rifles it probably doesn't matter where you enter the sector. - Zombie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted October 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 Depends on the sector! Some approaches are murderous regardless of equipment or experience. Rifles just mean you can start shooting back earlier. S-Team are engaged in Drassen, and M-Team were almost there when Biff and Flo decided to end their errand early, dump a load of kit destined for S-Team in Omerta, and flit back to San Mona, giggling. M-Team, bound by duty, honour, and extreme boredom, swung by the town to collect it and see Miguel. "I wonder if he'll donate any more unreliable idiots." Grizzly mused. "I'm not sure we 'ave any more room." Malice sighed, flicking his velvet handkerchief in an airy wave at Bull, who was busy exfoliating his face with a handful of gravel. "Hey!" Grizzly jabbed a finger at him. "Bull is not unreliable." M-Team spent a comfy night amongst the refugees and shattered buildings of Omerta, eased into sleep by Rebel Movement Moonshine, aged in old paint tins for up to 12 hours. "40 ounce in my lap and it is freezing my balls." Conrad groaned, awakening to find the cool sensation at his groin was actually incontinence.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/sleepybyes.jpgShaking the worst of it from his armoured leggings, he left the others to their drunken slumber and waddled off to see Miguel.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/miguel2.jpg"Ah, you know us, we do not slang or bang, we just smoke motherhubbards like it is not no thang"https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/dimitrirecruited.jpgOh, joy.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/dimprof1.jpgHe's actually not bad, especially as he's free. You can never have too many mechanics, and as a throwing expert he's good for getting grenades out there and on target. Kitted out with the best stuff I have laying around, which isn't saying much, he gets a tool kit and the job of running around, fixing stuff and selling it. M-Team, with the latest idiot dispatched, headed for Drassen. The last sector was still in Deidranna's hands, and S-Team had used up their entire lifetime allocation of professionalism and dedication, and promptly reverted to type. Danny, Malice, Conrad and Barry started off inside the airport perimeter while Bull and Grizzly were tasked with occupying the guards on the gate.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/draport.jpg Conrad engaged a trio of enemies guarding the plane, bursts zipping over their heads and poking holes in the fuselage. Unfortunately, he wasn't on form, and after emptying a mag, had yet to hit anyone. Malice stepped into the breach:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/malgrenda.jpgThey proved to be much easier targets for Conrad sprawled on the ground, and he raked the blazing muzzle of his HK21 back and forth, sawing them into meaty chunks. Bull got up to his old tricks, surprising a guard sleeping off his liquid lunch:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bulloldtricksda.jpg"A Type-85? I wouldn't use this to wipe my ass!" Bull stated the blindingly obvious and mowed the guard down with his own gun:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bullupwn.jpgIce cold. Danny finished off the last of the twitching remains, and wondered at the white powder sifting gently from the holes in the plane:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/danfinida.jpgMoving along the fence, and using the trees for cover, M-Team quickly skimmed the fatty layer of guards from the lean meat of the sector: https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/lastenda.jpgBull picked up a wound, possibly because he's too 'big boned' to miss, but aside from that, it was quick and clean. "Hey, you know what they have in airports." Grizzly nudged Danny. "Sniffer dogs?" Danny suggested. "Cavity searches." Bull sighed, nostalgic. "Stewardesses who are nothing like Strawberry, the neighbourhood ho." Conrad mourned. "My brain scabs over soon." Barry assured them, apropos of nothing. "Ze finest perfumes." Malice reminisced. "What? No! Duty free booze." And so began the celebration of the liberation of Drassen, fuelled by only the finest Albanian whisky and Mexican vodka. The night evaporated in an alcoholic haze, and only after Bull, naked, had declared himself fully 'disinfected' via the medium of Mongolian red wine, did the debauchery slump to a vomit-flecked halt. Covering their body odour with splashes of aromatic Norwegian cognac, M-Team assembled in something like order. A quick explore/burgle of the sector revealed at least one freak:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/waldo.jpgNot even going to talk to him. Forget it. "Well, we've had reports of...things." Grizzly announced. "So we're going to be guarding this sector. S-Team have the mine sector under control-" Even wholly sober M-Team couldn't have resisted that one, and after the laughter and retching had died down, Grizzly resumed. "We've got trained militia in the other two sectors, twenty guarding the middle, and twenty with S-Team. We've got some militia here with us, but only ten of them, untrained. So needless to say, we are it. We don't know much about these...things, but we do know if they come here then they'll have to come through that gate." "If it bleeds, we can kill it." Barry concluded, pupils hugely distended by alcohol and brain damage.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/mteamwait.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted October 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 "I don't thee why they geth all the credith." Gumpy scuffed the dirt with his boot, fiddling with his AUG's sling. He wanted his Dragunov back. S-Team had decided to adopt 5.56mm weapons for logging chain purposes or something, and the loss of his sniper rifle made him sad. Sure, the AUG had a bigger magazine and a three-round burst, but it was like swapping an elegant Russian mistress who was also a spy and only ever wore little black dresses for a wife who was ugly and hated you, but could have more kids because of her amazingly broad hips (that also mean she has to side-step through doorways). Gumpy sighed. "Stop ya whinin!" Razor contributed, scoring gashes across his forearm with a machete. "Heah me whinin? Nah! Jee-zus this friggin stings, how ya suppose they practice medicine in countries where they ain't got knives, Haywayah?" "Aaah, I dunno." Haywire stroked his handlebar moustache. "Spoons?" Gumpy wanted to complain some more but was afraid they might stab him. "Thpoonth?" "Nah, spoons!" Razor set his knife down, nodded to Haywire who started counting aloud, and attended to the cuts on his arm, using a needle, some thread, a stapler, PVA glue, and a bottle of lye. "Look, Gumps. M-Team took tha last sectah, so whut. They did the icin, but we baked tha cake!" Gumpy took no solace from the metaphor. Dynamo and Maddog watched, racing through a pile of equipment that needed fixing up. "You seen that? The old Sexual Vertical Take Off and Landing aircraft don't like the look of that." Maddog spat. "I'm more into breakin stuff than breakin myself. Did that too, o'course." He unbuckled his trousers. "See that?" "Aw man, the Sexual Speleologist wishes he hadn't." Dynamo jerked his gaze away from the horror. Dynamo, and a man with his trousers around his ankles, Shank thought. Just like back in prison. He continued throwing knives at a dartboard with a picture of Deidranna stapled to it, and when he missed and a blade rebounded off the wall and hit him in the face, he didn't even cry. Much. Uh-oh:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bugattack.jpgThankfully, S-Team are deployed for just such an eventuality. As the huge creatures poured out of the mine, S-Team poured fire into them. With the occasional contribution from the militia, the horrors immediately started taking hits. Haywire ripped one to pieces with his first burst, all six 5.56mm hollow-point rounds slamming through exoskeleton and mushrooming in the soft innards. The others ran, biting with their disgusting mouthparts, slicing with their wicked scything forelegs and thrusting their abdomens at folk in a disturbingly sexual manner.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/razorbugreaction.jpgRazor killed one, mutliple bursts crumpling it up just before it could reach Haywire. The militia swarmed in, enthusiasm overcoming common sense, and one of them even took a knife out and started stabbing the creatures. They did the gene pool a favour when they hacked him apart.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/gumpbug.jpgBursts were the name of the game, with individual rounds doing little damage. Haywire did himself proud, as the creatures attacked the nearest militia as a pack, and his fire tore into several of them. Supplies of hollow-points were low, and stocks receded at an alarming rate as S-Team applied themselves to their triggers. But the horrible creatures were large targets, and hunting as a pack meant they were even easier to hit, and soon the last one was felled, leaving only a trail of disgusting corpses from the mouth of the mine, and a few dead militia.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/gumpylastbug.jpgS-Team waited for more unthinkable abominations to spew forth. But none came. They stood down by degrees as replacement militia arrived and minutes passed. Dynamo and Maddog started a quiet game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Sex. Gumpy thought furiously hard about how he could paraphrase "We're gonna need a bigger boat." for this situation. Shank got a militiaman to hold his rifle while he reloaded it. Razor picked his teeth with a machete, cutting his face and an innocent bystander quite badly. Haywire peeped around the rock he was using as cover. "We're gonna need a bigger team." "Ah, thit." Now that I have the airport:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/brgat.jpgI ordered HPs in every calibre, plus a lot more besides. I actually spent far too much, so it's short contracts for the boys while I build my money up again. To make sure my order doesn't go 'missing', I had a little chat with Pablo:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/pablo.jpg"It is definitely time to get paid, yes?" Conrad assured him. The white drifts surrounding the plane made perfect sense now.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/pablobribed.jpgThink of it as I-don't-have-to-come-back-later-and-cut-Pablo's-bollocks-off insurance. Meanwhile, Biff and Flo were having a whale of a time, tripping the light fantastic around various towns, picking up only the lightest pieces of equipment and weaponry and selling them for a few dollars, carefree and overjoyed with their his 'n hers M-14s. While frittering a few hours away in Chitzena sampling the wines of the local poor people, they spot a Lesser Spotted American Tourist Couple:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/kulbas.jpgFlo's best ignoring goes to waste, as they refuse to be dissuaded.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/kulbas2.jpgAt this point, Flo's sneer has actually torn several muscles in her face:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/kulbas3.jpg"We will be delighted to 'elp you, won't we Beef? We have just liberated ze airport, and nuzzing would make me 'appier than to 'elp you leave zis country. Follow us."https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/sneakescort.jpg"Isn't zis a lovely warzone? Stop and savour ze aroma of ze corpses, but do not linger too long or you may become one." Flo regales the Kulbas while sneaking though enemy-held sectors on the way to Drassen. The Kulbas are personally shoved onto the plane by Flo once it was dug free of the piles of white powder, and Biff, Flo and Ira congregated in the middle sector of Drassen to distribute the load of kit to be sold. Dynamo and Maddog joined them, fixing it up so it fetched maximum value. Bugs took advantage:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bugsmid2.jpgSadly for the horrors, the bar was the perfect position once the doors were shut and drunks piled up behind them. The mercs blasted the creatures as they passed the windows, then rolled the drunks aside and followed cautiously. The bugs used the darkness, with two or three of them picking on isolated militiamen and hacking them up, screeching alien cries as they killed. One bright spark decided to light them up with a glow stick:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/lightupbug.jpgAnd the bugs, exposed to the mass firepower of the remaining militia and the mercs, died messily. "Hope these night bug busts ain't a reg'lar thing." Maddog grimaced. "Playin havoc with my workins. I got to go drop the kids off at the pool." Dynamo looked at him blankly. "Lay some cable? Build a log cabin? Let a wildcat loose? Drop a bomb? Crimp off a length? Give birth to a brown baby boy? Release a chocolate hostage?" Dynamo shook his head. "The Sexual Pizza doesn't even want to know." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azrael Strife Posted October 28, 2009 Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 Highly entertaining writing makes me want to play the game, and I would if I didn't know I'd suck at it and probably lose at the easiest difficulty setting like in X-Com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted October 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2009 You'll love it Az, guaranteed. And it's so cheap it's ridiculous. M-Team, getting fidgety without things to kill, scoop up a whole load of creature limbs, organs, and bits of flesh, and go off to have a word with an old nutter they spotted living in the desert weeks ago.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/gabby.jpgChrist, shut up already.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/gabby2.jpgHe buys the bits of the horrible minging bugs, no problem, but can only afford about two grand's worth. Gobshite and cheapskate, nice.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/gabby3.jpgShut up shut up shut up shut up. By far the most annoying character, after Ice. And Sully. Sadly, I need the money too badly, otherwise M-Team either wouldn't be here or Bull would be using his spleen as a scarf. Hmm, who would have thought that with just a few pieces of useless crap, a handy weapon attachment can be made! Here's one Barry made earlier:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/barrelext.jpg"Just like mother used to make." Barry sighed. A surprise email from my favourite tourist couple:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/kulbaemail.jpgGuns, eh?https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/automag.jpg"Bagsy!" Danny cried upon opening the crate. M-Team leg it to have a crack at Balime, while S-Team hold Drassen against further bug attacks. E-Team (I-Team?) sell weapons and equipment and generally do very little indeed, strolling about hither and yon, drinks in hand, reminiscing about battles they never fought in.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/stratpos2.jpg Conrad covers the large open space, with Malice and his Dragunov on the left, accompanied by Danny and his twin rifle-calibre Automags. On the right, Barry, Grizzly and Bull gird their loins for a bit of house to house and room to room lead swapping.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/balimestart.jpgNo enemies are encountered in this sleepy, rich little community, where the loudest sounds are the thwock of golf clubs teeing off, and the hee-haw laughter of the upper class inbreds swinging said clubs. Not wanting to waste time doing anything so poncy as going around the house, Barry plants some TNT and Conrad sets it off.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/explosiventry.jpgCatching a rich moron in the blast was something of a bonus.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/entry2.jpgBarry and Grizzly stormed in, stumbling on debris, ignoring the fragmentation-studded rich man cowering nearby. A soldier, responding to what he thought was a perfectly innocent detonation of high explosive, was caught flat-footed and gunned down by Barry as the mercs swept through the house, sniping out of the windows. It went quickly and smoothly, until the last house:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/lasthouse.jpgA nightmare of an objective, multiple enemies inside with interlocking fields of fire and a stereo playing AC/DC so loud Barry's brain started bleeding. Again. Explosive entry again:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/eeb2.jpgBut even once the interior was breached, the soldiers held their position, wounding Bull as he cleared a corridor. Forced to retreat, Barry had the bright idea of blowing another wall down somewhere else, only they shot him as he ran there. Humbled, he patched the hole while Danny deployed the mustard gas:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/mustardgasb.jpgThe deadly stuff spread insidiously, killing two and forcing one to shift position, coming into view for Danny, who gave him two 7.62mm rounds to the head, blasting a figure-of-eight hole through it. Everything of value was rounded up, money was stolen, and Barry had to execute a civilian who was coming right at him:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bitch.jpgTragic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted November 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 1, 2009 After Bull had eaten his fill of HE-fried capitalist, M-Team moved onto the second sector of Balime:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bal2start.jpg Danny and Barry circled around to the north, and Danny tried out his new Automags some more:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/danautom.jpgNeedless to say, he hit and killed the enemy scumbag. And gained an inordinate amount of pleasure reloading the pistols, sliding fresh new rounds into the tight, waiting chambers. The pervert. A cluster of enemies, gathered to enjoy the refreshing spray of the fountain, proved troublesome:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/b2cluster.jpgFor a little while, until the sniper rifle and machine gun fire from one direction, and 7.62mm pistol fire from the other proved their undoing. For a supposed rich town, there wasn't a lot of stuff lying around, I think I made about $20k altogether. That bought me a brief respite from my money troubles, but it's not a solution. Franz Hinkle buys stuff though!https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/franzh.jpgWhy do all the arms dealers look like paedophiles? Barry spots a big gold cup:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/chaliceofchance.jpg"The Chalice of Chance." Barry eyed it thoughtfully, wondering what chance there was of his brain doing something other than gushing blood out of every orifice in his head. Deidranna, Percept-O-Queen:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/deidrage.jpgI too found it hard to believe, despite slaughtering the enemies there and conquering the sectors with consummate ease. And in the sector directly west of Balime:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/hummer.jpg"Ten zousand for a Hummer?" Malice raised his eyebrows, or they were eager to escape his face. "Lot to pay just for oral sex." Bull said. The sound of foreheads being slapped was heard several miles away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted November 8, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2009 Low on money, with Chitzena working flat out and Alma getting a bit of a grumble on, I need another source of income. Drassen mine is shut down, and I'm not ready to take the bugs on yet.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/balimeoffensive.jpgTime for a bit of offensive patrolling, ambushing enemies and stealing their weapons and selling them. And so it goes:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/1sten-1.jpgApproaching from the rear, M-Team fall upon the camped patrol like a horde of night-blind buffalo across a garden. The first enemy, looking up at the moon and thinking wistfully of home, dies choking on his own blood, 5.56mm fragments peppering the lobes of his lungs:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/1sten-1.jpg"I can do that too!" Bull assures him, blowing bubbles. "Mine aren't red though..." Glow sticks fly back and forth as each side manouevres to stay out of the light. One enemy is too slow and Grizzly gets him in the knee.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/legshot.jpg"Gimme a P gimme an A gimme a T!" Grizzly calls from behind his shrub. "Gimme an E-double-L-A! Whaddaya got!" "Oh Jesus my knee!" comes the scream. The soldier is killed for making a mockery of the whole business. Barry, Conrad and Danny take the opportunity to sneak off and circle around:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bcdsneak.jpg"Remember, little bit of gold and a pager." Conrad reminded them. "Little bit of gold and a pager." Sure enough, the enemy flank is found (bumped into, actually, Barry, you moron) and Conrad applies a bit of machine gun fire while Danny exercises the arm that made him so famous in Little League:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/dangren.jpgEvery grenade he flung reminded him of the time he got Homer Trask right in the schnozzola with a baseball. POW. Barry, confident in his night-vision, forgot all about gas masks:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/barrygassed.jpgThat charm those Latvian gypsies sold him didn't work against tear gas after all! Malice was once again wounded badly by an enemy sniper, as was Dimitri, but in the end they all succumbed to rapid lead poisoning and M-Team plus one got to sleep the rest of the night in peace:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/blimetakenback.jpg"Unless ze enemy take back ze town or zumsing." Malice said past his yawn, sinking down into his down-filled potpourri-scented sleeping bag. Bull shifted uncomfortably in his skin sleeping bag. Next time he'd make sure the hair side was on the outside... The next night, after some remarkably rapid healing for people who aren't Wolverine, M-Team go in to take back that sector of Balime:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/cammedup.jpgConrad insisted upon colouring every bit of visible skin black, while Danny opted for a warry tiger-stripe job. Grizzly did his own, not trusting himself to touch or be touched by Bull. Barry carefully drew spectacles and a moustache on his face in olive green and, contented, helped Malice ensure his racing stripes were perfect. Dimitri sat on the sidelines, agog. It all went smoothly, the sector was only lightly occupied, and M-Team ghosted across it, with no enemy even managing to return fire. Until!https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/mike.jpgMalice was badly wounded again, two 4.7mm rounds making short work of his Spectra vest and flesh. Unfazed even by explosive entry, and backed up by at least two other soldiers, Mike lurked in the house, like a well-paid smug spider. Until Bull made his move:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/invisibleg11.jpgBull tore the invisible Heckler & Koch G11 (most exclusive assault rifle ever, only two ever made, then H&K had the entire workforce shot to keep it a secret) free of Mike's sweaty evil well-paid hands. Grizzly had been laying in wait, and when Bull waddled into action:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/mikeheadshot.jpgBull was splattered with brains:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/mikedead.jpgWhich he quite enjoyed. Barry crowed over the sleek German technology:https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/hkg11.jpg"G11! Sexiest assault rifle in the world!" Barry hugged the high tech weapon close, kissing the muzzle in the Hungarian fashion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted January 5, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2010 After another raid by the bugs, in which they wisely/foolishly attacked the sector not held by S-Team, the militia in Drassen was badly depleted. It really was time to take care of business. M-Team marched at maximum speed and reached Drassen faster than S-Team believed possible, catching the latter either drunk, naked, or smeared in tabasco sauce (best not ask). M-Team managed to give the resulting disturbed ant hill burst of activity a veneer of competence, although Shank did have to change his underpants twice. In public. Pretty soon, both teams were assembled.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bugwar.jpg"Permithion to take compathionate leave, pleathe." Whimpered Gumpy . "On what grounds?" Bellowed Grizzly. "On the groundth I don't want to end up ath creathure thit?" "Denied!" Grizzly took a lot of satisfaction from the look on Gumpy's face. "Everyone got hollow points loaded?" There was a chorus of assent and one sob. "Then let's do it." Gulping, Gumpy took one last look at his copy of Hand to Hand Combat for Movie Tough Guyshttps://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/helmetknockout.jpgand followed the others into the mine. Inside was pitch black. Glow sticks were dispatched immediately, and as pools of radiance lit up the mine floor, revealing abandoned equipment, tracks for the mine carts, dried smears of unidentifiable fluids on the walls, and little else. M-Team advanced. Slow, cautious, always staying within sight of multiple comrades, they probed the darkness. S-Team, happy to be cowards, covered them. Then the things came out of the dark. "They're coming out of the Goddamn wallth!" Gumpy piped up, but no-one heard him because they were shooting.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/1stsection.jpg"I WISH WE'D BROUGHT EARPLUGS." Bull yelled, multiple bursts of automatic fire overlapping and creating a wall of sound that pummeled their eardrums like an angry dwarf boxer on steroids. "I SLEPT WITH YOUR WIFE." Grizzly confessed. "I FEEL TERRIBLE ABOUT IT, BUT IT WAS MISPLACED. IT WAS JUST THAT I WANTED YOU AND I COULDN'T DEAL WITH IT. SO I SEDUCED YOUR WIFE. MY GOD, THE KIDS WERE IN THE NEXT ROOM. WHAT WAS I THINKING. EVERY TIME I LOOK IN THE MIRROR I DON'T SEE ANYTHING TO BE PROUD OF. I'M SO DISGUSTED AND ASHAMED THAT I WASN'T HONEST ENOUGH, THAT I WASN'T BRAVE ENOUGH TO ADMIT THAT I LO-" "What?" Bull turned in the sudden silence, as the last creature flopped to the ground like a dropped hot dog. "...Nothing." Grizzly reloaded his FAL and stared straight ahead. "Let's go." The attack had been brief, a handful of bugs swarming out of the darkness. The mercs sidled past the fallen creatures carefully, watching them for any twitch. Bull pulled open an exoskeleton, using bullet holes for purchase on the slick carapace, and tore out a length of something yellowy-orange and glistening. "Eggs is eggs." He shrugged, and tried a bit. "Not bad." "Horp." Groaned Malice, turning away. "My stomach, she revolts!" The next section of the mine was just as easy, albeit this time the creatures hung back in the darkness and spat wads of acidic bile at first. As rock melted and creature vomit sizzled through the air, the mercs advanced supported by probing fire from the machine guns of Haywire and Conrad. Having loaded up to the maximum, they showed no restraint, and whenever a blob of green puke splattered out of the blackness, a 5.56 or 7.62mm reply was assured. No-one was hit by the regurgitation, and soon the section was cleared of bugs. "I had a talk with the head of the miners before we came down here." Dynamo piped up from behind a rock. "If that was the last of them, we're done. This is the last bit of the mine. I'm relieved. Not sexually. Not yet." "It may be tha last bit a tha mine." Razor nodded towards something up ahead. "But it ain't tha list bit unnaground."https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/goindownthehole.jpgThe black pit yawned before them. There was silence, except for the soft patter of urine flowing from frightened bladders. "In the hole." Dynamo said, grinning. "Awww, yeaaaaaaah." The drop was short, and after a little wriggling (and some pushing, in the case of the bigger mercs, and Bull's arms, body, and legs) the teams slid out into an entirely different underground environment. A large, open cave, with occasional stands of rock and passageways leading off. The air was almost warm, and clammy, moisture gathering on their weapons and kit. There was a faint, disagreeable smell, somewhere between ammonia and off milk, that their noses could not grow used to. "Reminds me of the final battle in Alienz in da Hood 2." Conrad made sure his HK21 had a full mag and advanced slowly. "Snoop Doggy Dog, amazing performance. Lil' Bow Wow, not so much." The creatures attacked. A vomitus crossfire stung several mercs of S-Team as they cowered against the back wall. Even misses produced splashback, throwing droplets and vapour in their faces. "Away from the freakin wall!" Maddog urged, hauling Shank forward. Glow sticks were flung, mercs knelt and began to apply fire or medical kits.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/level3bw.jpgDanny and Bull were grazed by bug puke, and S-Team caught a quick shower of the stuff, but there were no serious wounds. Even though ammo usage had been enthusiastic, everyone still had plenty of rounds left. Except for Barry, who insisted upon bringing his G11, with only two 50-round mags. Although he did also bring a Glock 18 and eight spare mags, for close encounters. After exploring the intestinal sprawl of the passageways, the mercs found the entrance to the next sector of the bug cave, and slowly probed into it. There was a lovely surprise waiting for them.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/maggotbw.jpgMalice, unused to his AKM, missed his chance, and as the pale larval disgusting thing closed in, Gumpy gave it the good news with a burst of .45 ACP. "MAC-10, bitch!" "What the Heeeell was that?" Razor asked. "Their young, mebbe." Danny shrugged. "Never seen nothing like it, and I watch Animal Planet all the time." The Crepitus young turned out to be just as good at technicolour yawning as the full-grown specimens, but they're nowhere near as tough. One or two good hits and they're lumpy vanilla milkshake. Depsite this, the narrow tunnel forces the mercs together, and blobs of puke injure multiple mercs. Despite spreading out as best they can, Haywire and Maddog still take a good lungful of bile vapour and as a fresh batch of bugs comes to investigate what the ruckus is about, it's time to deploy the mustard gas.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/mustardgasbw.jpgIt doesn't affect them that much, but they don't like it at all. Held at bay by the noxious cloud, they're easy meat for wave after wave of automatic fire, and the few upchucks they manage do little damage. After the gas has dissipated, the cave is explored and cleared. Shank finds something that will cause him to purchase incontinence drugs wholesale.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/shankskel.jpg"Skellingtons." He staggered away, even paler than usual. Haywire scooped up a skull, toying with it. "Show some respect for the dead, huh." Dynamo asked. Haywire put his fist inside the skull and turned it to face Dynamo. "Which way is Christmas Town, man?" Dynamo slapped the skull away, to shatter on the cave floor. "Oh yeah, that's respectful. Shoulda been an undertaker." Sulking, Haywire went to see what Razor was stabbing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FullAuto Posted May 7, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2010 Gumpy, you are a genius, sir.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/gumpygenius.jpgWe've only been fighting dozens of the things across multiple levels. Grizzly, Pet Expert, gives us the benefit of his expertise re animal urine.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/pissants.jpgAnd reveals his obsession with pissants.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/bullpissants.jpg Conrad sets a new record for Damage Done To A Horrible Gribbly Thing.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/conrad219.jpg Further nightmares lie in wait for Shank.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/shankegg.jpg I won't bore you with the constant battle of attrition that is fighting through the caves, the near-constant use of mustard gas to smoke out whole caves or block avenues of attackhttps://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/moremg.jpgthe screaming horrors that lie beneath the earth, the use of mustard gas againhttps://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/againwiththemustard.jpgthe firing until fingers are raw and ears deafened and nostrils itching and eyes are watering, the slipping on spent casings and fumbling of magazines, the tripping on bodies, the crawling through puddles of slime and water and blood and ichor, the screams of men and animals (Bull) in rage and pain and fear, the clatter of chitin on stone and the hard crump of explosions, the horror of war, man's inhumanity to disgusting creatures that merely want to reproduce and devour the rest of the biosphere, the paradox of war and peace, the difficulty of obtaining oneness with the universe, need I say more. The mostly empty last level is saving the most disgusting for last.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/queencrep.jpgThere the queen sits, her huge pulsating reproductive sacs jiggling, antennae waving a strange, unknowable semaphore, surrounded by the new life of her eggs and the dead remnants of her prey. Instead of pulling off the classic horror maneouvres of screaming and losing control, running off alone into the dark, spraying rounds wildly and to no effect, etc etc, the mercs start throwing mustard gas grenades, take cover, and open fire. Her acid spit proves inaccurate. Each individual hit does very little damage.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/qcbd.jpgBut everything counts in large amounts, and soon she begins to fail. Barry finishes her off, and she dissolves, apparently.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/qcded.jpg And done. The semi-sweet scent of a mining town is manna to their nostrils.https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/minedone.jpgBarry holds a pair of Crepitus organs to his chest. "Tits of victory!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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