Now, listen up!
Effective immediately, drop your sidearms, ordnance, ammo and all issued combat material at their designated spots.
Yes, that includes stun rods, you nitwit!
As I'm sure you've all realized by now, I'm about to grant you nincompoops temporary leave to go play with the elves, don mistletoe crowns, sing silly songs, or whatever it is you do when you're not being the instruments of alien damnation your were made to be.
Well, let the merriment begin I guess...