The headline story in today's Mail on Sunday was about a group of airline passengers who mutinied and got a couple of their fellow passengers kicked off an aircraft that was waiting to take off. The two victims of this crazed mob were acting in a manner the passengers regarded as suspicious - they were speaking Arabic. Story!
After reading that article, I have comprised a list of security precautions that mean that you have a fair chance of not being attacked by a mob and then arrested if you are going to have to travel by air in the near future:
Never check your watch - it loooks as if you are coordinating a terrorist strike.
Never wear thick clothes - you might look as if you are concealing a bomb despite all those security measures you would have had to smuggle it past. Better yet, don't wear any clothes at all.
If you must have a conversation with someone, make sure it is in the Queen's English. To a paranoid moron, other languages such as French can sound a tiny bit like Arabic. Anyway, it's a foreign language so your fellow passengers will assume you're up to no good.
Be cautious with your reading material. The Koran is a definate no, and you should avoid reading crime novels and political thrillewrs - you might look as if you are looking for a few tips. 'True' stories of hijackings and air disasters should also be avoided.
Don't wear a beard!
If you follow these measures, you will probably be feeling rather paranoid - that's good as exhibiting signs of paranoia will help you to be part of the crowd. Or mob.