Major changes to StrategyCore


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#1 Gimli

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Posted 01 April 2009 - 08:01 AM

April 1st, North England - StrategyCore (NASDAQ: SC) administration announced today that it will be undergoing major changes in the coming weeks. Recent events in the world, most notably the global economic crisis, have influenced this decision, although it had been brewing for a while.

After a long debate it has been decided that the site's current orientation toward strategy games is no longer a viable business. As such, everything pertaining to games previously covered will be removed. This includes the site, forum and file server. Although gone after these are restructured, a General Gaming section will remain where they can be discussed.

The new focus of the site will be Hello Kitty. Although several other options had been considered, in the end this was the only one financially feasible. Site administrator Pete said in a statement to the press:
"I always loved Hello Kitty. There's just something about kitties that feels right. Who doesn't like kitties? Not to mention that everything will be pink now. It's my favorite colour!"
Zombie: "After extensive testing, it has come to my attention that kitties would make the perfect X-COM soldiers, as they show high resistance to all kinds of weapons."
Slaughter: "I used to punch holes in doors. But Hello Kitty changed my life. Now I am at peace with my inner-kitty."
Full Auto: "Nobody knows this, but... I lead a double life. During the day I play strategy games, watch football matches and write X rated X-COM fan-fic. But at night - I play Hello Kitty, watch cat-fights and write Hello Kitty fanfic... yes, also X rated.
Space Voyager: "To kick off the site, I am preparing an interview with Ikuko Shimizu - creator of Hello Kitty. I also secretly dress up my baby girl as Hello Kitty."
Bomb Bloke: "We are also shutting down and renaming UFOPaedia. The new site now redirects to www.UHKOPaedia.org. Currently there is little data on the site so any help is welcome."
baby arm: "I'm abandoning Tacticular Cancer for this and devoting my life to kitties. Kitties own!"
NKF: "I bought all the Lego Kitties, even the limited editions. I used the rest of my Lego collection to build a huge Kitty.
Gimli: "At first I was against this idea. But after the rest of the staff convinced me there would be Kitty midg... er, little people... er, kitties - I was all for it."
Azrael Strife: "I used to watch lots of anime, but after being introduced to Hello Kitty, I unsubscribed from my cable company and subscribed to over 100 channels of Hello Kitty. I have never been the same again."

#2 PzKenny

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Posted 01 April 2009 - 10:04 AM

What was the date again today???????
:)  :)  :D  :D  :)  :)  :)  :laugh:

#3 Space Voyager

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Posted 01 April 2009 - 10:48 AM

WHAT, you don't think Ikuko Shimizu would want to do an interview with StrategyCore?! Or do you think it is just me that is the problem?! Posted Image

Posted Image

BTW, welcome to SC!

#4 Bomb Bloke

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Posted 01 April 2009 - 11:11 AM

Wait a minute, you mean all those meetings were supposed to be about "site finances"?

I'm supposed to be getting payed for hanging around here?!!  :laugh:
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#5 Pete

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Posted 01 April 2009 - 01:08 PM

A frighteningly accurate news post. How Gimli knows so much about us is beyond me!

FullAuto - x-rated kitty fanfic?! Shouldn't there be a law against that?
May your terror missions always be infested with Chrysalids.

#6 foxhound525

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Posted 01 April 2009 - 03:51 PM

April fools bollocks no doubt
Fire a Blaster round into an open UFO, you gotta lot of dead bugs.

#7 Pete

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Posted 01 April 2009 - 04:47 PM

O RLY?
May your terror missions always be infested with Chrysalids.

#8 FullAuto

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Posted 01 April 2009 - 05:34 PM

Quote

April fools bollocks no doubt

I wish:

Quote

Full Auto: "Nobody knows this, but... I lead a double life. During the day I play strategy games, watch football matches and write X rated X-COM fan-fic. But at night - I play Hello Kitty, watch cat-fights and write Hello Kitty fanfic... yes, also X rated.

:laugh:

Erfworld - the finest comic about turn-based gaming ever.


#9 Pete

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Posted 01 April 2009 - 10:03 PM

Got your number.
May your terror missions always be infested with Chrysalids.

#10 Gimli

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Posted 02 April 2009 - 07:50 AM

OK, show's over. I hope it was amusing at least. :laugh:

#11 NKF

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Posted 02 April 2009 - 07:54 AM

Wait - wait - what was the point of me going out and buying all those bricks then? Argh!

Frighteningly enough, thanks to curiosity, I do have a Hello Kitty dangler attached to my key chain. Amazing what those little dispenser things do. Put in money, get a little thingamajig.

Pity that it's hard to coordinate a worldwide April fools joke thanks to the differing time zones.

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NKF - finally built a gaming PC in 2020 (though not any of that RGB nonsense). Can now play games up to '89!

#12 Ego Terrorist

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Posted 02 April 2009 - 10:35 PM

*is disappointed that this isn't true* :laugh:
Dammit I just misspelled on my christmas present list...now I've asked satan for an inflatable Buffy.

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#13 Kizmiaz

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Posted 03 April 2009 - 06:42 AM

View PostGimli, on 1st April 2009, 9:01am, said:

The new focus of the site will be Hello Kitty.
Posted Image

Duh...

#14 JellyfishGreen

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Posted 09 April 2009 - 04:50 PM

IN THE GRIM FUTURE OF HELLO KITTY THERE IS ONLY WAR
The deadly Lobsterman threat was finally countered by melee combat with power tools. -ufopaedia.org




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