The Quick and the Dead and the Stupid.


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#1 FullAuto

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Posted 12 September 2010 - 11:54 PM

Base placed.
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Base named.
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Men monikered.
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Cannons and Stingrays sold.  Avalanches bought up.  Do away with the heavy cannon nonsense.  Ditch the rocket launcher.  Buy up some more autocannons and mucho ammo.  More grenades, smokes and proxies.  Another 8 soldiers and another 10 boffins.  Build two more hangars, living quarters, general stores and long range radar, placement with secure base layout in mind.

First interception.
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Avalanches crush the UFO.  Wait for daylight, and hit it.

It's a wooded area in eastern Europe.  Two fireteams of four, three riflemen and an ACman to a team.  Each rifleman has a rifle, spare mag, one frag, one smoke, one proxie.  Each ACman has an autocannon, two spare mags, and a pistol for close encounters.

Pete, the first man off the 'ranger, spots an alien to the north and freaks out.
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"First battle, first turn, I'm a dead man I'm a dead man." He hides behind the ramp.

Yours Truly lets rip, splashing the battlescape with fire.  One round hits.
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The other two miss the alien, but start a forest fire that will go on for three months and kill thousands of innocents.

Zombie, Thorondor and Gimli scramble out and take cover around the ramp and rear landing gear of the 'ranger.  End turn, just in case we're surrounded by Sectoids.
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We are surrounded by Sectoids.  I get shot.
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"Holy Jesus it burns!  It burns!  Oh God the pain!" cries Pete in sympathy.

With 16 Health left, and three Fatal Wounds (one usually does the job), I return fire.
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As the smell of burning Skyranger fills the air, the crack of rifle fire ripples out, and everyone misses.  

Zombie moves away from the 'ranger, taking cover behind a tree.  The UFO is to the south-east of the 'ranger, almost right next to it, so he covers that side knowing there may be more aliens coming.

There are.
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Zombie, his cold, analytical brain working with icy machined precision, knows his rifle may not do the job.  He primes a grenade, and realises he's stood behind a tree, and must move to throw it.  But moving will reduce his TUs to the point where he cannot throw it.  He lies in wait, grenade in hand like a metal ball of hot shrapnelly death, which it is.

Bomb Bloke and Skonar, in the 'ranger, turn to each other at the cacophony of terror outside.
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"Let's stay in here."
"Good idea.  Hold me."

Naturally, in the alien's turn, Zombie gets shot.  How the plasma managed to get around the tree, I do not know, but Zombie dies, falls, and the grenade goes off.
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Gimli sees it all, knelt by the ramp, and screams when he feels what's left of Zombie run down his face. "NO!  NO!  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Erfworld - the finest comic about turn-based gaming ever.


#2 Bomb Bloke

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 09:14 AM

PeeeeeeeeEeeeeenGeeeee........

View PostFullAuto, on 13th September 2010, 9:54am, said:

More grenades, smokes and proxies.
Consider electro-flares. Terror missions aren't always easy to schedule.

View PostFullAuto, on 13th September 2010, 9:54am, said:

With 16 Health left, and three Fatal Wounds (one usually does the job), I return fire.
And now 13. About five turns to live? Guess we know who'll be storming the UFO, then...

View PostFullAuto, on 13th September 2010, 9:54am, said:

Bomb Bloke and Skonar, in the 'ranger, turn to each other at the cacophony of terror outside.

"Let's stay in here."
"Good idea.  Hold me."
Promotion material there, if ever I saw it.
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#3 Space Voyager

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 10:06 AM

I'm sure I'll handle the situation just fine, so no need for panic, folks. :(

Thank you for this AAR, FA! Been a while...

#4 NKF

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 10:11 AM

I get this feeling I'm going to be in the back with a felt tip pen individually naming my grenades... edit: or back at home rather.

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#5 Matri

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 10:41 AM

How come he gets to play with the big guns? :(
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#6 Pete

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 12:37 PM

I'm just stoked I'm not dead yet.

So is your next recruit (assuming you win) going to be named Zombie II? Or just Zombie, since technically he's undead?
I want to see the inside of the UFO in my avatar.

#7 Sunflash

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 04:12 PM

We now need to figure out how to make a mod with zombie recruits. They dont' get better, but they JUST. DON'T. DIE.

A+ dude. :(

#8 Pete

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 05:39 PM

(Plus like BB said, you might get smaller file sizes with the images saving as PNG, not that they were that bad - either that or he was swearing Japanese cartoon stylee).
I want to see the inside of the UFO in my avatar.

#9 FullAuto

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 07:04 PM

Get a bit of the old overhead view going.
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With most of the nearby cover obliterated by the grenade, Gimli makes a beeline for the space between the stubby arms of the UFO.
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Tragically, he misses.  Return fire kills Skonar, barely out of the 'ranger.  Pete, still feeling very safe and secure under the 'ranger, lets off two three-round bursts, hitting the Sectoid twice.  It conspicuously fails to die.  Until Thoronodor gives it an aimed shot to the face.

Health trickling away, I storm forward, uncaring, just wanting to spot the blighter that did for me.
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Without enough TUs to shoot, I holler to Space Voyager for help, and a grenade arcs overhead, tumbling through the air to land at the Sectoid's feet.
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I'm crying.  Tears of blood, that is.

Gimli, edging around the opposite side of the UFO, spots another Sectoid picking over the corpse of its clone-brother.
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A burst of fire, despite mostly hitting the legs, kills the Sectoid and it crumples to the ground. "On me!" Cries Gimmers, and in seconds Pete, Thorondor, and Bomb Bloke are very definitely behind him.  And staying there.

Tragedy strikes.
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My fleshy body ruptures its last organ, and I keel over, shouting "I hate you aaaaaaaaall!" as I go to the great barracks in the sky.

Closing in on the UFO's entrance, an alien peeps round the corner, fires, and kills Bomb Bloke.  Reaction fire from the Three Stooges hits everything but the Sectoid, who toddles off round the corner.  Gimli charges after it, survives a plasma pistol blast to the face, and turns his rifle on the alien. "My mother's slaps burn more than that!"
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High velocity piercings are in Sectoid style this season.

The remaining chaps form up on the door as Space Voyager hurries to join them for the assault.  A Sectoid pops out in true horror film stylee, and blasts Pete in the face.
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"I knew it!" He croaks from the floor, and has the satisfaction of seeing the Sectoid dancing the 7.62mm jig.

With the last alien dead, the surviving trio head back to base to celebrate.
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Thorondor and SV are promoted to sergeant.  Replacement soldiers are easily bought from the profits of the mission.  The dead bodies are used in at least one crude human puppetry show in one of the hangars, before an internal investigation puts a stop to it.

Erfworld - the finest comic about turn-based gaming ever.


#10 Thorondor

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 07:58 PM

Wow - I'm a certifiably grizzled combat veteran! :(

::

*feels for all the fleshy parts*

#11 Bomb Bloke

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 10:06 PM

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RATING> OK
Ya know, no matter the body count, somehow the game knows how to make it all feel better...
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You're just jealous 'cause the voices only talk to me :P
We love Tammy! :)

#12 chiasaur11

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 10:14 PM

What difficulty is this again?

Because on Superhuman this is a nastier than usual turn of events. On a lower difficulty...

#13 FullAuto

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 10:42 PM

Superhuman.  :(

The move to .png energised me, and I remembered to buy some electroflares, ta for the reminder.  Shortly after the mission, my boffins in the lab stopped using their bulbous brains long enough to tell me they've invented the medikit.  Too late too late, cries my corpse, but in future they will save lives, and I put my crack team of engineers to work making them.

As I don't have a crack team of engineers, just ten morons sitting around scratching their arses, I make them do it.

The month slips by with no interceptions, the only interruptions the new soldiers and the eggheads discovering the laser pistol.  Unfortunately, none get made before
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12-man team for this one.  Two fireteams, plus a third headed by Thorondor to provide some leadership if (when) things go wrong.

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#14 chiasaur11

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Posted 13 September 2010 - 11:35 PM

Medkits before lasers?

Well, I can see the reasoning. Tend to go the other way around myself, but then again, I haven't managed more than one mission on superhuman.

And I can't even do that at night.

#15 Crazy Photon

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Posted 14 September 2010 - 05:29 AM

View Postchiasaur11, on 13th September 2010, 8:35pm, said:

Medkits before lasers?
+1 on that, I usually go up to laser rifles before even considering studying the medikit, as redshirts won't make much use of them at first (it's just 1 shot and they are dead). The good thing about going laser first is that you have better chances of fending off cyberdisks on the first terror mission. You may try going with high explosives or rockets, but in the former case it's very hard to approach a cyberdisk in superhuman (plus it's pointless if the cyberdisk is not on the ground level) and the latter case you need to bring a lot of rockets as cyberdisks will eat as much as 3 rockets before going down...

P.S.: Can I be one of the recruits? :(
Resistance is NEVER futile...

#16 NKF

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Posted 14 September 2010 - 05:58 AM

You want beefy chaps with 40+ strength to get good results with the High Explosive. As for rockets - use the Large Rockets as they are anathema to Superhuman Cyberdiscs. Don't waste small or tank rockets on them - they just take too many.

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NKF, narrow minded fuddy duddy who refuses to let go of the past and will not accept anything newer than 1979.

#17 Pete

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Posted 14 September 2010 - 06:35 AM

I can't work out of I died or whether I'm just unconscious. Either way I'm glad I'm not around for the terror mission.

The first terror site (and usually the second and third) on Superhuman are about damage limitation and knowing when to leave. As such if I can see a bunch of aliens as soon as I step off the ramp my tactic is to kill them before making a hasty retreat. Cowardly I know, but it's all about making a terrible score just a little less terrible :(
I want to see the inside of the UFO in my avatar.

#18 Space Voyager

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Posted 14 September 2010 - 06:40 AM

Oh man, that was a close shave!!!  :(

And promotion, too! RIP to all the fallen comrades, we WILL avenge you! IF we survive the terror mission, naturally.  :(

#19 Sunflash

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Posted 14 September 2010 - 11:50 AM

I am kinda confused though. I just reailzed you only went with 8 guys on the first mission, but didn't take a tank? Is there some sort of secret deal to not going full-crew all the time, or just too lazy to deal with everyone? XD

#20 FullAuto

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Posted 14 September 2010 - 01:45 PM

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Medkits before lasers?

Yup.  I normally get the laser pistol, laser rifle, and personal armour before bothering with medkits, but the death of my avatar forces my hand.

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Can I be one of the recruits?

Absolutely.

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I can't work out of I died or whether I'm just unconscious.

You died.  Oh my word did you die.  Heavy Plasma + Face = Urgh.

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Is there some sort of secret deal to not going full-crew all the time, or just too lazy to deal with everyone?

I honestly thought 8 would be more than enough, as the UFO was shot down.  However, it very nearly wasn't, so I shall be re-evaluating my squad sizes.  I don't like tanks, they're big targets, too expensive and of limited utility.

Erfworld - the finest comic about turn-based gaming ever.





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