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Why I'm shit at Combat Mission


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Operation Epsom, or as I dubbed it, Operation Awesome.

 

Currently rolling thorugh miles and miles of farmland and small towns versus ze Nazis, only to come a cropper, losing tanks all over the shop. Why, you ask? Here's why:

https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/opepsom.jpg

 

I lost two tanks to the terrain in the first few turns, one bogging down in a ford (fair enough), one stricken by bushes, and then, a few turns later, I lost two tanks to wheat. So far, I have lost one tank to ze Germans, and four to bloody sodding geography and plant life. I know tanks aren't all that reliable despite being explicitly designed for cross-country movement, but how would you explain wheat away?

 

Sir Basil Baskin-Robbins: "Minister of Tanks, please."

 

Operator: "Certainly sir."

 

Sir Fortesque John-Smith: "Hello there Basil."

 

SBBR: "Hello there Fortesque. Dashed bad news I'm afraid. It appear the Germans have developed a potent new anti-tank weapon that's knocking our chaps for six."

 

SFJS: "Not another type of those ghastly Tellermine thingummies is it?"

 

SBBR: "No, afraid not. It appears to be a strain of wheat."

 

SFJS: "Wheat? Did you just say wheat?"

 

SBBR: "Yes, wheat."

 

SFJS: "Wheat?"

 

Etc

 

Note to self: Keep tanks on roads. I'm sure ze Germans won't mine them or cover them with anti-tank guns or anything.

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Must be one of those new Wunderwaffen ;) V-8 the Vheat-Waffe :)

 

I tried the game "Theater of war" recently and well... I felt like Full-Auto here in Combat Mission. My huge army of ze Elite Nazi tanks and ze top-notch soldierz were completely and utterly destroyed by a handful of mostly unarmed peasants. I uninstalled that game right away! :)

 

FWIW: I remember the WWII flight-game IL-2 (made by RUSSIAN programmers), some time after the release of mod-tools a bunch of modders discovered that the german ammunition was programmed to do only half the damage it was supposed to do, every second shot was a blank. They even showed videos to prove it. Interestingly those programmers also made "Theater of War"...hmmmm.

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Die wunder-weizen kommt!

 

I've tried Theatre of War or ToWII, I was bobbins at it, and I already have too many games that I'm crap at.

 

It's gone better since then, I've got disposable little armoured cars scouting the roads and bravely detonating mines and taking fire from AT guns, followed up by infantry with demolition charges for the mines and assaults on gun positions, so my tanks are mostly okay now, only going off-road for little jaunts.

 

However, my infantry now has no cohesion. I've been a bit sloppy and let the machine guns, mortars and AT weapons fall behind, resulting in more casualties for my riflemen. Digging the Hun out of his positions is never an easy task, and it's even worse in urban areas. Thankfully, I have a few Churchill Crocodile tanks, which have a flamethrower to go with their 75mm gun. Very handy! Those, combined with the four Fs of my infantry, means I'm actually doing okay. Honourable mention to the Churchill AVRE, with a 290mm gun that clears buildings with a single blast.

 

I am absolutely rubbish at this game.

 

Possibly because I was playing it all day yesterday, I had a weird WWII-themed dream.

 

I was manning a machine gun post versus waves of Germans, and shooting them didn't work unless I made that machine gun sound with my mouth. You know, the one you do as a kid that makes spit fly everywhere and hurts your tongue.

 

TLLLLLLLLRRRRRTTTTT

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Ha, I had a dream about the game I play atm, too (Silent Hunter 4 btw). ;)

 

And I sunk a german U-Boat with my american submarine in the game! Woohoo!

https://img20.imageshack.us/img20/2913/sh4img20091121151759640.th.jpg

 

About the machine guns (and your dream sound): I was very surprised when I heard a real machine gun salvo for the first time in my life. In the movies you always hear something like T-T-T-T-T-T-T-pause-T-T-T-T-T-pause-T-T-T etc, but in reality it is more like TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TRRRRRRRRRRRR, much faster rate of fire and shorter bursts. Now I understand the stories of soldiers being literally cut in two by machine guns. :)

 

Btw, there are good mods for the Combat Mission series available, some of them include e.g. ^real MG sounds, that's why i mentioned it in the first place.

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About the machine guns (and your dream sound): I was very surprised when I heard a real machine gun salvo for the first time in my life. In the movies you always hear something like T-T-T-T-T-T-T-pause-T-T-T-T-T-pause-T-T-T etc, but in reality it is more like TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TRRRRRRRRRRRR, much faster rate of fire and shorter bursts. Now I understand the stories of soldiers being literally cut in two by machine guns. ;)

 

Especially MG42/MG3 and friends. 20-25 shots a second has a rather different sound from, say, Browning .50 cal with 6-7 shots a second.

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Beyond a certain ROF, you just can't hear the individual shots any more, it's just a wall of sound. Being on the end of MG42 fire must have been horrible. Not that being on the end of any machine gun fire is nice, but still.

 

That's quite another issue, actually. I keep forgetting my staunch Vickers MMGs aren't really up to taking on MG42 HMGs. Dang und blast.

 

Btw, there are good mods for the Combat Mission series available, some of them include e.g. ^real MG sounds, that's why i mentioned it in the first place.

 

Where can I find these...'mods'? I've been to a few sites and DLed lots of extra missions, but some of the sites are defunct now and no longer available. Even a brief review of CM mods reveals hundreds out there, it's a shame some clever person hasn't zipped them all up for easy DLing.

 

P.S. No disrespect to modern Germans. I love and respect you all.

 

My Churchies take care of some Panzer IVHs with the help of a PIAT team (currently crawling away and sobbing):

https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/churchvsp4s.jpg

4-0!

 

And a pair of Panzers on the receiving end of a Croc's flamethrower:

https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/churchcroc.jpg

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Y'know, I seriously doubt if the Panzers even know you were shooting the flamethrower at them. They're probably air-conditioned too, knowing your luck. ;)

 

And there's a good reason the MG42s were feared by anyone not doing the shooting. They weren't called "Hitler's Buzzsaw" for nothing.

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Y'know, I seriously doubt if the Panzers even know you were shooting the flamethrower at them. They're probably air-conditioned too, knowing your luck.

 

I dunno, they blew up quite nicely!

 

Not sure about the vulnerability of tanks to flamethrowers, but I assume as Molotovs worked, flamethrowers would.

 

Here's a screenie from an earlier game, Kraut flamethrower team taking out a T-34, much to my surprise:

https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/flamedtank.jpg

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Found this: https://www.lonesentry.com/articles/intelli...e-throwers.html

I quote:

 

b. Against Tanks at Close Range

 

Our experiments show that flame throwers at close range can temporarily neutralize tanks by inflicting casualties among the crew and by stopping the engines. Complete destruction is possible if the action of flame throwers is followed by attacks with explosives. However, best results are obtained by setting fire to combustible parts inside the tanks."

 

I guess if a rather small hand-held flame thrower can do that, a Churchill flame tank would surely have no problem even with bigger tanks.

 

P.S.: Yes most mod sites seem to be down ;)https://cmmods.com/ . I haven't played CM for some years so I do not longer know where else to look...

 

Vhere arrr ze modz? :)

 

edit: Duh, found some working mods by clicking a link on the link posted above :)

https://www.battlefront.com/index.php?optio...&Itemid=314

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Cheers Civvie!

 

Corporal Roland and Private Parts aren't talking to each other after an argument over who has to drive and who gets to use the Bren:

https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/cplrldpparts.jpg

 

Just checked the Scenarios folder in CMBB. 1,302. Ulp.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Only lost one tank to wheat this battle, which is something of a wonder. It's all going rather well, and I'm onto the last stage of the operation before nightfall.

 

Got a few reinforcements:

https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/cmreinforce.jpg

One of the reasons why setting up in CM is so time-consuming is that you can only position individual units, you can't select a group and position them, even if they're all infantry sections of the same platoon, etc. It's a bit of a pain. So this little lot will take a while to sort out.

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Cheers Civvie!

 

Corporal Roland and Private Parts aren't talking to each other after an argument over who has to drive and who gets to use the Bren:

https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/cplrldpparts.jpg

 

Just checked the Scenarios folder in CMBB. 1,302. Ulp.

 

 

Hahaha, that unit's look absolutely defines the word "wimpy" ;)

No wonder the wheat is such a danger!!!

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Yep, they're very lightly armoured, Universal Carriers. I've only lost one or two of these to wheat and other nefarious geography, presumably because they're lighter.

 

Cue my scream of rage when I lost a Sherman Firefly to a patch of soft ground I failed to notice. Probably my most potent tank, and I've only got eight of them...

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Sometimes I get distracted by sexy weaponry.

 

The Staghound armoured car, AA variant.

https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/staghound.jpg

Two .50 calibre machine guns? Yes please!

 

Topped by the M16 MGMC:

https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/mgmc.jpg

Four .50 calibre machine guns. At this point my knees usually go a bit weak.

 

What on Earth could top a .50 cal quad mount? How about a Sonderkraftfahrzeug 7 with a 20mm quad mount.

https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/sdkfz.jpg

Oh baby.

 

But wait. Where do you go from there? I mean, quad mounted cannon...what's beyond that? What sort of maniac could improve upon that? Is it even possible?

 

The Wirbelwind says "JA!"

https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/wirbelwind.jpg

Four 20mms in an open-topped turret on a tank chassis. I think I'm in love.

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I remember reading that the US soldiers used AAA tanks similar to those^ as anti-infantry weapons in Vietnam, is that possible in CM too? see here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M42_Duster

 

And holy batman, look at the mud here: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/comm...eb.%2C_1968.jpg your tanks should be happy that they only have to deal with aggressive wheat and not mud like that :)

 

buahahah look at that tank https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%B6belwagen ugleeeeeee ;)

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The Wirbelwind reminds me of the ZSU-23/4.

 

I remember reading that the US soldiers used AAA tanks similar to those^ as anti-infantry weapons in Vietnam, is that possible in CM too?

 

Oh my, yes. They absolutely tear up infantry. Something like the Wirbelwind, for instance, can stop a major infantry attack on its own. The Skfz is quite vulnerable to small arms fire, sadly, but covered by infantry, it too can hammer infantry to bits. The .50 cal weaponry doesn't have the same impact versus targets in cover, but its still devastating.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 1 year later...

"Can you smell bratwurst?"

https://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h109/FullAuto_2006/hidey.jpg

The sniper survived for an amazingly, agonisingly, long time, potting a tank commander (the tank then drove straight into a minefield and exploded), a gunner of an APC, another tank commander, and an artillery spotter. Then he was shot to bits.

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  • 1 year later...

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