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Marutia Ortia

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  • 2 weeks later...

This one is my favourite:

 

The following is supposedly an actual question given on University of

IOWA chemistry mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the

professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have

the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

 

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or

endothermic (absorbs heat)?

 

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's

Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is

compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the

following:

 

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and

the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume

that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no

souls are leaving.

 

As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the

different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these

religions state that if you are not a member of their religion,

you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these

religions and since people do not belong to more than one

religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

 

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number

of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the

rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states

that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay

the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

 

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which

souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will

increase until all Hell breaks loose.

 

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the

increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure

will drop until Hell freezes over.

 

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms.

Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a

cold day in Hell before I sleep with you." Taking into account

the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual

relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure

that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

 

The student received the only "A" given.

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