As many others I shared this mythical beleif that depression is reserved for a few people with chemical imbalances or traumatic experiences, but not any more.

I have stumbled upon this wonderful guide of how to be depressed, and I never thought it could be so easily! In just 10 small steps, anyone can turn depressive. Thats it, just ten small steps that will work for anyone.

Do not let the myth that "it requires a genetic predisposition, or an intensely traumatic childhood" to become depressed stop you from trying, depression can happen to everyone!

For those already depressed, I hope this guide will help you improve your mental craft to perfection!






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Before you reply read the guide at least, or at least a part of it. You will understand what the hell I am babbling about.

Depressed? Just think to much over everything somewhere alone (NO company is allowed). That will really get you there faster then that guide.

Or better yet, read a newspaper.

My favourite part:

That bit about not getting out of bed... Ya know, I can't see how anyone who gets to sleep in could be depressed.

learn for your exams for 2 weeks, get questions asked you never dreamed of to learn , 2 weeks without playing pc games nor go out and you will be so depressed that even Freud hands you a gun

The secret of not getting depressed is to have a goal, my goal beside passing the exams is feb the 9th.

That is sheer frustration. Lecturers and teachers hammer their curriculum and only the curriculum into you - which is fine and all, as that's what they've been paid to do. Then when they give you suggestions on what will be included in the exams, they're doing this to mislead you so that you stuff what you don't need into your head or to distract you from learning all the basics thanks to the sheer pressure you're under. Sadists!

Now that I've recalled the days of short-term-memory exams that'd shape my life, I feel utterly depressed.

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Bomb Bloke, I can think of two possibilities there:

You lie in too much and you start to get tired mentally. You can only sleep so much and the rest of the time you'll just lie awake in bed. You need something to do.

The other is a direct relation of the above, and you lie awake and let your mind start to wander. Before long you'll start to think of really depressing things, or it'll dwell on a sad thought that you really don't want to think about but can't. This can be very depressing.

Of course, normal lying in from time to time can be great, and should be made compulsory as a means of relieving depression. Moderation's the key!

Now to go and feel depressed in the corner.

- NKF

Oh yea their books and ideas are most important, and of course we do have the time and motivation to read all the lecture around, and even if we do we fail to answer the cryptic questions they ask...

About lying in the bed im somewhat an expert in that You actually do get very depressed when you recognize that you slept all over the day, missed the skiing race, your head akes you feel dizzy and instead you can throw yourself on the couch and let the tv take away the paethic rest of your mind you have to learn another lecture of media theory

Our maths teacher had us sit all the exams which had been issued in years previous. You soon learnt to see the patterns.

Believe me, I've had plenty of experience sleeping in. Time well spent! I don't force myself to sleep, and if I happen to wake up I've got my TV/console collection set up at the end of the bed.

Now there's a depressing thought in itself.

Schools are no longer learning institutions, they are now memorizing institutions.

The future is gonna be soooo fun. [/deadpan]

If anyone is interested in some more, here is the "best ten of secret geek".
My favorite next to the depression guide is this one, Award for the Silliest User Interface: Windows Search.
For authors, or those who plan to become authors, I really reccomend this one How to (not) write a novel


Ha ha, so true...change write a book to do homework and you got me (Is currently taking a "small break" from his technology report, hey it is only the third this quarter!)

After being mobbed at work for 5 years i can tell you depression does NOT need a genetic predisposition or chemical unbalance to appear. Many people don't even realize that they are depressed (like me for a long time). They think the sleeplessnes, the eating problems, the nervousity and last but not least their huge anger do come from physical problems (bed too hard? eyelid ticking -> need glasses? etc.) and do not see the truth. Or better (in my case) do not WANT to see the truth as it is too unbearable.

I was being shot at. The bosses of the place i worked made millions of false assumptions, turned around everything i said, i was being watched by private detectives (even at home) without them being hiding, they sabotaged my car several times and many many other things. The reason? I had joined the Workers Union and the workers elected me into the work committee.

So much for freedom and justice in Germany, seems there is still a lot of old Nazi stuff around here. I even learned that the founder of the company i worked at was in the bodyguard of Adolf Hitler, no joking.

I had to quit after working 12 years for those criminals, i was on the edge of killing my boss, again, no kidding.

Sorry for bringing this up, but i had to correct the misunderstanding about depressions being a thing from within.

Good link, btw. Now after some time passed i can see many things clearer and many of the things on that site remind me of my situation back then.

That's insane! Good thing you finally left that job then! Doing well now?

Yep. I do have some problems trusting people atm, though.