Does not compute.

Really, just show her your X-COM: Collector's Edition.

...

What? I never said it would work.

I would say: be yourself. Even though it's probably not the answer you or anyone else (including me) wants to hear. It's OK if you don't like some of the same things, I think.

Yeah, I don't really have a lot of experience, so I'll shut up now.

X-COM is the way

The Notebook

and

"Let's make babies!"

Me: "Your eyes are like spanners!"

Her: "What?"

M: "They make my nuts tighten!"

H: *SLAP*

(this is a good topic to come back from lurking, so I bite)

All depends. That reminds me of the case of a very pretty girl who worked as our front desk for over a year. Seriously, some questions:

How old is she? How old are you? Do you know she's a bf/hb? Does she particularly smiles more at you than the others? Does she genuinely laughs at your jokes? Does she looks at you as another staff, as a "friend", or as a potential mate? (The last one is if she subtely "checks" you).

Depend of the answers. You already told she's not a airhead, and she's pretty and . So she knows the approaches of the most "cocky" guys, and probably is tired of them. And it's not uncommon she may go for a "shy" guy.

Be yourself, and by that, mean it. However that doesn't mean you would not stop being corteous. Be sweet, smooth, but still manly. Wear clean clothes and be well groomed.

Assuming she's w/o bf/hb, to see if there's a chance, try talking to her in the next workplace's social gathering, bring some other coming social event (movie, play, etc) and just plain ask her out to accompany you as like this "Would you like to go with me to see this *etc*?". That's for testing the waters.

To build up confidence and perhaps to get her attention as a potential mate, I'd suggest a unorthodox and (depending of how much do you make, expensive but certainly fun) approach: Get a escort that is prettier or more voluptuous than her and spend a few sessions (on different days) to "warm" up your pheromones and to get her advice. The rest is up to you.

Alex

We're quite close in age (I believe she's one year older or younger than me, I have been told but my memory fails) and we do seem to get on quite well. Sometimes. She seems to run hot and cold, so I don't know if it's just catching her on bad days, or she's not taking her medication regularly, or what.

I don't think 'Be yourself' really works, does it? Or am I the only one here who is a bastard? All my previous success in relationships has come from pretending to be a caring, understanding person...

I think she's been educated to a higher standard than I, going by her reading matter (not that I checked what she reads or anything. Is that stalkerish? If it is, I didn't do it). And she appears to be quite conservative and traditional, so I really do need my rude, coarse, disgusting and otherwise uncouth sensibilities and humour. Which is most of me.

See what I can do about getting an attractive female friend to buzz around me, though...

Well, they do say opposites attract...

If it's the same days in the month...



We call that "secret admiring".

How about you save yourself a lot of trouble and fast-track it instead, FA?...

::

Being yourself helps IF you are planning on making this something long-lasting. Lying and cheating and using people is for ONS's. No lasting relation will begin that way.

And what the others said ^ is true: Forget relations at your work-place, they will influence the situation there negatively in both cases (Success or Failure). Not that this keeps people from trying as emotions are, well, not stronger but usually faster than reason. They are like the dark side of the force

Sidenote:
What is weird and interesting: If you actually try to avoid ANY relation people will literally bombard you with offers. Why: Because everyone who seems to have a conscious plan looks secure and strong and thus attracts people. You do not even got to have a plan, it already helps if you SEEM to have a plan In that case they will sooner or later discover that you have none, though, and their interest will die off.

I hate people, btw

Spill the beans man. I'm hungry.

No beans to spill unfortunately. She wished me a merry Christmas and a happy new year to me and my family (with what may have been unusual tenderness, not being present at other staff farewells I don't know, but I suspect it was just her natural nice quotient) and I haven't seen her since, as we've not been very busy.

So, what's up? We wanna know! Your actions, current plans'n'plots?

Werrrll, there's a concert coming up, and I think it might be the sort of thing she enjoys, so I'm planning to ever-so-subtly mention it and the spare ticket I may be able to acquire if anyone's interested while very definitely not looking at her. It's a small, intimate sort of performance, quite exclusive if you're not a member of the local music society, and the quartet playing are meant to be good, so it should be enjoyable enough.

*crosses fingers so hard knuckles are dislocated*

Go for it. Good luck!

Well, unlike Gimli (Gimli said it himself) I do have some experience, albeit most of it is negative

Are you prepared for the case when someone else says "HERE, I WANT THAT TICKET" before her?
I would recommend asking her directly instead. That way you make clear that:

-YOU are interested in HER and that this is not some kind of accident and saves you the huge embarrassment of discovering that she e.g. only went there because she really likes the music and wasn't even realizing that you had some interest.

-You show self-security (even if it is pretended!). This has an advantage later: even if your question leads to a NO, you will gain respect from others and maybe some other girls suddenly realize that you are there. Don't underestimate the gossip.

-You'll know right away if she has ANY interest in you as well.

Be prepared for a NO and remember that only the guys who dare to ask have a 0,01% chance of getting a YES, the guys that don't dare to ask will always have 0,00% chance of getting a YES. That said I really do not recommend ANY relation stuff at work, it will lead to no good even if the relation is a success.

Anyway, whatever you do: Good luck

Ehm, I would most definitely BE looking at her! Are you afraid she could get a hint you like her? Come on, man, you WANT her to know that you have the guts to show that!

EDIT; I should read all replies first... I agree with Civilian 100%!

<Begin $0.02>

All subtlety ever got me was a headache and more questions than answers!

<End $0.02>

I'm with FA on this one - it's hard being brave and asking outright but as others have since mentioned, it does clear it up pretty quickly and if it's not the result you're after you'll only feel shit for a few weeks.

Do be prepared for the oft-confusing female mind though. I've had a situation before where I've been out on what I thought were two dates that turned out not to be. Work that out. Sometimes female colleagues/friends will think you're just being generous by buying them dinner or going out somewhere and spending all your cash on them.

Okay, I've talked my way round to the direct approach now

You can always go for the compromise. Tell everyone else about your plan so that she's the only one potentially wanting to go.

But I think it's best you did what other said. Straight in her face. It takes guts and your chances of success low, but at least you'll know right away. Plus you show guts and other chicks will like that.

Oh yes. A jab of the finger and "Not you!"