Hearts of Iron 2 is a grand strategy game, plonking you in control of a country, kicking off in the 1930s or 1940s (your choice) and you can do pretty much what you like, though nearly everything you do is military in nature. There's not much in the way of civilian governing going on. You create armies, navies and air forces, use spies and diplomacy to pick on/make friends with other nations, trade goods and move your troops about as you like, declaring war on whoever takes your fancy. So you can change history.

A quick precis of my first game. Well, the first game that didn't end in tears, anyway.

Starting in 1936 as the UK, I wasted no time and immediately started to meddle. I jumped in on the side of Ethiopia and booted the Italians out mid-invasion, and then out of Africa entirely. Italy sued for peace, which I ignored, quickly shifting the Royal Navy and RAF to bases in the Mediterranean and North Africa, and invading the islands of Sicily and Sardinia. Italy promptly threw its toys out of the pram and refused my generous peace terms (I keep everything, you don't get blown up) and was only brought to heel by six months of bombing, convoy raiding and naval blockading. Honourable mention goes to the French here, they wasted no time in joining in, and although they made no headway at all into Italy (must have been quite a Surrenderathon), they bombed the shit out of northern Italy and tied up lots of Italian troops.

And so we had indeed, peace in our time, for about two months, when I joined in the Spanish Civil War on the Republican side, actually not getting involved that much beyond using my small expeditionary force-style army to hold Republican provinces, and using the RN and RAF to batter Fascist Nationalist forces and make the battle easier for my Commie muchachos. Cue me picking up even more territory in Africa as Republican colonies turned Fascist and then turned British. Needless to say, the pinkos won, and Spain joined my wonderful alliance, solidfying Western Europe.

Unfortunately, this warfare had done nothing to stabilise the situtation, and France, God knows why, invaded Germany in 1937. They invaded Germany all the way to Paris, in fact, embroiling me in WWII two years early when my forces were in severe need of an upgrade. Joining in the defence of France was out of the question, I had no wish to replicate Dunkirk, so I retreated to the UK, leaving a few divisions on the narrow Spain/France border, to hold it against the might of the Wehrmacht.

WWII sort of happened, with most of Europe being involved, the Soviet Union kicking off in 1943 and the war ending in 1948, with most of Europe under Soviet rule. I broke out of Spain in 1945, managing to save about a third of France from the Iron Curtain, along with Italy, Greece, Albania, etc. Finland fell to the Russkies. The US never got involved, Japan conquered meaty chunks of China, then started on Russia.

I had to get rid of a big chunk of my forces, thanks to the slackness of the peacetime economy and India going independent in 1948, and then went on a bit of a rampage in the Middle East, conquering lots of little countries for oil (Persia, and of course, Afghanistan), while simultaneously liberating most of Africa into little countries that would starve themselves right on into the 21st century. South Africa, my stalwart ally, ended up acquiring the lower third of the continent as I sold provinces off.

WWIII started in 1953, and was a bit of a muddled affair. Japan and its Chinese puppets, Manchuko and Menguko, were still at war with the Soviet Union. The US went to war with the Soviet Union as well, as did my alliance (the Free European Alliance Revolution, as I dubbed it ). Thanks to this odd situation, Japan and the US invaded the Soviet Union side-by-side, with the Yanks taking the Kamchatka Peninsula and Japan going in through Mongolia. Most Soviet troops must have been in the East, because FEAR punched deep into Europe, liberated everyone and then bogged down in Russia in winter.

And I thought I had learned from history.

The game ends in 1964. At this stage, Europe was free, sexy, and all allied to me. The US and Soviet Union made peace in 1960, leaving the US in control of Siberia. Japan and the Soviet Union were still battering each other, and were still in Mongolia, the conflict being something of a stalemate. Most of Africa was liberated, the Americas were unchanged, and Asia was a mess, though Nationalist China swallowed Communist China sometime in 1951. I owned islands all over the globe, but didn't have the economy to develop them further.

Apologies for the essay. This game will definitely help your geography and history, if nothing else. It's quite slow, but fun if you want to mess about with history. There's no tactical element, but there are lots of different units once you develop past the WWI kit.

11 years of war to get 5 years of peace?

You make a lousy leader, y'know.

War or peace, they were great years.

Well, obviously!

Nippon! Ninjas, samurai, geishas, katanas, sake, kimonos, sushi. Land of the Rising Fun. In 1936, a fascist powerhouse desperate for resources to fuel their expansion.



The gold bits all belong to me, so that's Japan, some islands in the Pacific, the Korean peninsula and various bits and bobs around Manchuko (pale khaki-ish, next to the crimson might of the Soviet Union), my new best mates as they're just a puppet state set up by me to rule over a chunk of China. Speaking of which, China is split into warring factions like Nationalist China (pale yellow), Communist China (reddish orange), Shanxi (light green), Guangxi Clique (dark blue).

When Guangxi Clique (not a bunch of black youths wearing their trousers dangerously low, honest) goes to war with Nationalist China, I wait a wee while for troops to be drawn away from NatChin's coastline, and invade.



It all goes fairly well, not without setbacks, but my dominion over NatChin is all but established when every other Chinese faction apart from Da Clique declares war on me. Still, too late to prevent my conquering the heathen NatChins.



Without NatChin, the rest are just divided suckers waiting to be conquered, and with some additional troops generously donated by Manchuko, I do them one at a time, setting up another puppet state, Menguko, on the way. Siam sees the light and becomes a puppet state voluntarily, and I sit back and get rich on the resources of mainland China as my troops mop up the last resistance and conquer the last corners of the warring states who dared to mess with the best.



Unfortunately, it's now 1938, and I've been at war for more than two solid years with more than half a dozen different countries. My belligerence is the highest in the world, I've spent a fortune keeping the Soviet Union and USA sweet, and their forbearance cannot last forever. A big chunk of my troops are deep into Asia, and will take months, if not more than a year, to make it back to the coast and then home to Japan. Probably not in time to defend it from invasion then.

What now? Do I finish off Asia altogether, adding Da Clique, British Hong Kong and the French-owned Indochina to the Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere, freeing Asia of dastardly Western influence? Do I keep heading west into Asia, pushing into Afghanistan and then through into the oil fields of Persia? Do I want to own Australasia, and dominate the Pacific entirely, taking out Australia, New Zealand, the Phillippines, the Dutch West Indies, Malaysia, where do I stop? Burma? India? Even Africa does not seem so far away, and after Africa...Europe?

But it is 1938 after all, and there are ominous rumblings as Germany annexes Austria...

Italy annex Albania. Must have been quite a struggle, picking on a country exactly two provinces in size. He says, as he honestly considers duffing up Tibet...

You're liking this game a little too much.

Remind me not to leave you the keys to the world next time I nip to the shops

Just defending myself against aggression! WMDs, terrorists, spies, China was just one big revolving door for them, and my beloved island nation was the mat they stepped all over.



Germany and the Soviet Union divvy up Poland and the SU starts on Finland. I'm feeling left out.

Nice recounting, FA.

::

The red tide surely cometh...

Does water pose any obstacle ? If so Australia and other southern locations might be good fallback positions. Also, have you considered harakiri ?

And that's goodnight from Denmark. And Norway.

Because I've pre-empted a lot of historical events, I don't really know what's going to happen, but things in Europe appear to be going to the usual timetable. It's quiet in Asia, although I have managed to swing a non-aggression pact with the Soviet Union.



On my to-do list if things go badly wrong...

Speaking of which:



Terauchi-san has been researching the Infiltration Assault doctrine for more than four years now. WHAT ARE YOU SMILING AT TERAUCHI-SAN?! 78% for four years is worse than nothing. I SPIT ON YOUR 78%! I CURSE YOU SEVENTY-EIGHT TIMES! MAY YOUR ANCESTORS BURN IN SEVENTY-EIGHT HELLS!



Germany are hogging all the fun.

I was getting a bit bored with Europe getting all the fun in 1940, so I invaded a country.



By 'invaded' I do of course mean 'introduced compelling evidence that Guangxi Clique should join the Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere', with the compelling evidence being my army, air force and navy.

Pretty soon, Guangxi is but a shadow of its former self. Japan one, rest of the world nil.

Until Vichy France, the disgusting collaborationist scum, decide to ignore my kind request to look after IndoChina for them. The inevitable ensues.

Ladies and gentlmen, I give you...



Japanasia!

How do you stand in comparison with other major powers? I don't have a good idea of this without seeing the whole world in one shot.

Germany controls 219 Victory Points, and has an Industrial Capacity of 537, basically because it owns Western Europe, Denmark and Norway.



The UK controls 128 VPs and has an IC of 218, still has a decent chunk of its Empire left (parts of Africa, India, islands all over, etc).



The USA controls 62 VPs and has an IC of 382.



The Soviet Union controls 185VPs and has an IC of 372.



I control 163 VPs and have an IC of 286. So I'm climbing the ladder, but I'm not the champ yet.

Thanks to me declaring war on Vichy France, Germany (and its allies Italy, Hungary, Romania and Slovakia) declared war on me. Thankfully, none of them have a decent navy, so I'm safe. Unless they invade so deeply into the Soviet Union they reach me, which is unlikely.

Speaking of which, it's February 1941, and things are going to step up a gear in June with the German invasion of the Soviet Union (if things go historically, which isn't certain cause of my meddling, hur hur). While they're preoccupied, I think I'll nab some valuable stuff. I want Afghanistan, Persia and maybe Saudi Arabia, establishing myself in the Middle East. Well, I don't really want Afghanistan but it's on the way to Persia. Oil!



Oh dear. I do seem to remember selling the pinko Spaniards a bit of stuff, I appear to have tilted the Spanish Civil War into the ahistorical result of them winning. The nearby fascists obviously didn't take kindly to this.

Not content with going to war with the Axis, I've managed to get myself embroiled in a war versus the Soviet Union. The SU declared war on Manchuko, and as we're allies, I couldn't let the thought of the SU's 253 infantry divisions (plus 24 armoured divisions) put me off, even though I only have a paltry 135 divisions (plus oooh, 12 from Siam, 30 from Manchuko and 12 from Menguko).



This is what happens when you bring a knife to a gunfight, Ivan!

Hopefully, I can cut off a chunk just by heading north through SU territory, hold in the Western part of my empire, and perhaps take a bite out of Mongolia for Menguko too. I can hope that the SU will turn the might of its forces against me and then the Axis will invade and catch the SU on the hop, forcing the SU to sue for peace with me, but somehow I don't think it's going to happen.

What I want is a short, sharp shock for the SU, some minor gains for me, and a non-aggression pact afterwards. I suspect it will be a long, bitter campaign, with the Soviet numerical advantage proving a right handful. I have a better air force and navy, but the latter will only have a small part to play (especially if I take over the Soviet coast).

Anything but a winter war in Russia, I think I know how that will end...

Good luck... You might need it.

Thanks SV, I think I'm going to need it.



Made gains in the east, won all of the SU's major ports and most of its coastline, not much more to grab really. The problem is that the SU's territory in the east is made up of 95% MMBA (Miles and Miles of Bugger All). The 15 provinces I have captured grant me an extra 1 manpower, 2 energy, 2 oil aaaaand...that's it. So sod all, really, certainly not worth the effort. The infrastructure out here is also poor or nonexistent, meaning it takes ages for my forces to travel from province to province, and more supplies to keep them in beans, bullets and bandages.



In the west, however, it's a stalemate, despite the fact that I've committed 35 divisions to such a relatively small area.

It's the 28th of June, 1941. Operation Barbarossa should have kicked off on the 22nd. If the Axis are busy invading Spain, they're doing a shoddy job of it. Thoughts of the German invasion of the SU simply not happening will have me gnawing my nails. If it doesn't happen, I'm going to fight an opponent that has about 300 divisions to my 200. Which means I'm going to be beaten like a ginger stepchild, basically.

With impeccable timing, revolution sweeps my lovely empire. An attempted coup sets the countryside aflame with the joy of overthrowing, but it is crushed, leaving problems in its wake.



My provinces, as you can see, have broken out in an unsightly rash of partisan activity, with green provinces being peaceful, and red ones full of La Resistance, the swine.

Gaze upon my triumph! Eastern Soviet coast is mine. Mongolia absorbed by Menguko. Manchuko nibbling away at the SU.



Er, not really. I have captured the eastern Soviet coast, so no more naval interference, but their navy is rubbish anyway. Their air force is okay, but there are so few air bases in their eastern territory they can't deploy enough aeroplanes to really bother me.

They do have masses of infantry, which while slow to redeploy from the west, will tell against me in a long war. The provinces I have taken from the SU are rife with commie partisans, I've had to divert 15-20 divisions to police them.

I may be in trouble. Come on Germany, invade! It's September 1941 for God's sake, you should be at bloody Leningrad by now. What a time for Hitler to stop being a mentalist.

Trying to play the system, are you?